8:20-Finish a brief dispute I was having with my alarm clock about when to wake up. I recently returned from a vacation where I got an average of about six hours a night. Somebody somewhere needs to queue the quote "I need a vacation from my vacation." A little part of me just died inside.
9-10:00-Spend the morning surfing around the internet (do kids still use the word surfing? Is it browsing? Somebody somewhere queue the quote "The Internet is not a place it's a series of tubes. Apply for a job at Montogomery County Community College. Kind of think that the third C is a bit of overkill. MCCC. Too many right?
We've been having a minor battle with a colony of roaches that have taken up residence in our walls. We've had the exterminator come by and spray down our cabinets, which my wife insists is going to poison us. I try to reassure her by telling her that Scientists, which I always spell with a capital S, have worked out a poison that provides strong bones for us while killing roaches dead in their tracks. Queue RRRRAAIDDD/dying roaches.
Upon returning from our brief vacation to our humble little apartment that had just been sprayed for roaches, we were greeted on the front entryway by a scuttling black insect. Needless to say we were thrilled at the effectiveness of the exterminator. I guess in this economy you want to be certain of work, so it wouldn't be a good idea to do a good job all at once.
I've tried to suggest that if spraying doesn't work that we should shrink ourselves down and slowly mate with the roaches, thus changing our differences over time. Steph is skeptical.
Which reminds me: Typical evening scene.
S wanders into the kitchen.
(Shriek ensues)
S: "Bring me a shoe!"
A: "Did you see a roach!"
S: "Yes, bring me a shoe!"
A: "Reason with it. Reason with it!"
S: "Throw me your shoe!"
A: "Reason with it!"
S squashes with shoe.
A: "Well that's not going to solve the bigger issue that's going on here."
Leaves in a huff.
7:29-Conduct an argument with my wife in which she accuses me of misquoting her in a previous blog. "I don't think I said that the statue of Paolo and Francesca was boring."
Me: "I might have just put that in there for a affect."
S: "James Frey."
Me: "Did you just call me James Frey?"
James Frey sold an ass load of books and got famous. The American Dream right?
ReplyDelete