Sleeping Early

I recently decided, as I often decide, that it was time for a change. I decided that I was going to start going to bed early. Like most goals I set, I plan on failing, rather spectacularly.

The first night I was in bed by 10:23. It takes the average human being seven minutes to go to bed. I am not, if you ask me, in any way shape or form an average human being. I think it usually takes me ten minutes or so. I've no idea if this makes me above or below average. I'd like to think above average, though, if all the research about sleep is correct, in terms of controlling weight gain and concentration, I guess it makes me below average. Though I'd contest, and I often do, that my failure to fall asleep is symptomatic of my active mind. I stay awake for an extra three minutes, or sometimes and hour and a half, because I am intelligent. Or so I'd have myself believe. Self-deception is an important part of living.

Anyhow, I was in bed at 10:23, and asleep before eleven. Of course, the related reason that I'm going to bed early is my intent to wake up early to accomplish things. I've long suffered under the misapprehension that people who rise early are always smug, because they know something the rest of us don't. There is nothing that makes a person seem quite so smug as when they're sitting at the kitchen table at nine, drinking coffee, after having gone for a morning run, contemplated the cosmos, and made you a pot of coffee. They are so unpleasant. Obviously, it's my strong desire to become one of these people, which is why I'm planning on waking up at six every morning. If you see me at eight, I want you to know that I'll have already been awake, done some writing, drank some coffee, contemplated the cosmos, and spent half an hour perfecting the smug smile that I'm currently wearing on my face.

The issue, as I'm sure you've already guessed, is that six in the morning is really early in the morning. It's earlier than you think it is. Much earlier. Imagine what you think six A.M. looks like, then double it. Get up at three in the morning and try to function. That's what it's like to wake up at six. The point is, I, like any reasonable person, turned off my alarm. I woke up at 7:45 after an amazing night of sleep. I highly recommend going to bed early, though I can't yet speak of waking up early.

Night #2

I'm feeling tired by 10:12. 10:12! I'm excited about how quickly my body is learning. My body is like the body of Rocky after all the training. It's like it's already climbed the steps after one night. Then I go to bed. I am lying in bed for ten minutes or so before I realize that I'm not even remotely tired. I can literally see the miles and miles of water between myself and sleep. I'm going to have to travel. I try sleeping with the covers half on, then half off, then off. I try sleeping on my side, on my other side, on my stomach, on my back, on top of all the blankets. Nothing works. By the end of the night it's nearing midnight, and though I've composed an amazing letter that I need to dash off, I'm not sure that it worked. In the morning, I wake at eight, somewhere, some smug person is smiling.

Tonight, it's 11:20. If I'm asleep before midnight, and up before eight, I'll deem it a success.