Game of Thrones: The Gift

                If last week’s episode of Thrones  was a rather ignoble turn for the show then this week’s episode, “The Gift,” was a reminder of just how high this television show is capable of soaring. In every season of Thrones the disparate elements start to come together like tributaries flowing down towards the sea. In, “The Gift,” the picture of the season’s final episodes started to grow in size, making the connections between episodes and storylines explicit as opposed to random. The producers choose wisely, focusing on first on stories in the North, which are now woven together as threads on a loom, so the pattern is starting to come clear. 

                The battle for the North is almost in full swing and the participants are marshalling their forces by either skinning women or trying to keep their children alive. Yes, this is still the world of Game of Thrones. Ser Davos cancels patience to Stannis, who, probably rightly, refuses him, noting that the winter may last a decade, leaving Stannis alone. Much like at Blackwater, a seemingly non-fortuitous event, wildfire in Blackwater, a snowstorm north of Winterfell,  leaves Stannis grasping at straws. Two episodes ago we saw the most touching scene in the history of Thrones, Stannis reminding his daughter why he loved her so deeply. Well, love doesn’t come cheaply. In this episode Melisandre asks for the blood of his daughter to insure victory. Stannis, to his credit, and yes he becomes more likeable each week, refuses her. Never have I been more anxious for Gendry the bumbling black smith to show up and bleed a little. 

                South of there at Winterfell Ramsey the erstwhile hobbit torturer is abusing poor Sansa, keeping her locked away until his evening desires take hold. After last week’s episode, it wasn’t shocking to see Sansa in bad straights, though it was nice to see her trying to take control of her life by telling Reek that his true name was Theon. Unfortunately for Sansa, which is basically a footnote to the whole show, Theon is not yet Theon, as I think we’re all aware he will finally be, and so he reports her, and her friend in the North is flayed. Seeing an old woman tortured and nailed up isn’t new frontier for Thrones or Ramsey, and I am beginning to question how many more scenes of Ramsey’s violence we really need before he receives his comeuppance, but the show runners are betting a lot on this character, certainly too much. 

                It’s not entirely clear why Brienne can’t just go pay a quick visit to Sansa, but for some reason she’s waiting for a light that will be hard to turn on with Ramsey Bolton taking his dinners in the tower where the Stark family’s problems began. Sansa does gain one bit of hope, her brother, Jon Snow, now Lord Commander of the Knight’s Watch. 

                Up North of Stannis and Winterfell Jon sets sail to find the last of the free folk—apparently trying to convince them to come south to help fight white walkers and farm instead of hanging out drinking, carousing and sleeping together as they have been. Interestingly, especially in light of last week’s blundering rape, the episode up north focuses on Samuel Tarley and Gilly. They watch the sad death of Amon Taergaeryn and Sam is warned by the acting Lord commander that his friends are now dwindling. Perhaps Stannis was right about keeping enemies further away. Better yet, behead them. From there an attempted rape begins but is stopped by Sam and Ghost, one of the remaining dire wolves. And, in one of the best flips of traditional narratives that we’ve seen on Thrones, Gilly takes Sam’s virginity, climbing aboard him as he winces and says wow. If Thrones often puts women in preposterous situations, it also occasionally empowers them. Yes, Sam wants Gilly, but he’s never going to ask. And so giving her the power over that decision, even if it does come after his face getting beat in, does give her the power that she’s always held in their relationship. 

                In and around Mereen, Dany is wasting away her nights in bed with a warrior poet who keeps advising her to kill all the masters. If anything was clumsier about this season than others, it’s that the stories, Cersei going to prison, Dany probably killing the masters have been a bit more obvious. At its best, Thrones has been a non-stop and confusing thrill ride for non-book readers. This season’s march to trouble has felt a bit more inexorable. That said, the threads slowly being woven together over the course of ten episodes is as impressive as ever, especially with the world building that was necessary this season. 

                In a scene reminiscent of Gladiator, Ser Jorah, arrives in the fighting pits to once more impress his Khaleesi. In this encounter, Jorah, disarms everyone rather than engaging in violence. And, though she denies him, Tyrion appears on the scene to help him keep his head. It’s clear that Jorah is headed to the fighting pits in Mereen, and that the master’s may be in a bit of trouble. It’s also clear that the fighting pits cannot remain open in perpetuity, as the violence alarms Dany, making her claim of justice seem less potent. 

                As I said, the true harvest is finally being reaped in King’s Landing. Cersei is finally confronted with her deception with Lancel Lannister, leading her to the dungeons with Margery and Ser Loras. It’s unclear how much of the city supports the faith, though. It’s unclear why gold cloaks and King’s Guard aren’t around while this club wielding brigands are imprisoning the royal family. That said, this has always been the conclusion of Cersei’s story with the faith. And of course it’s a nice turn that Petry brings about her down fall, providing Olenna with some ammunition in her fight against the Lannisters.  I’m not clear though on where this ends, one of the pleasures of Thrones, which was denied in some other ways, is that it’s unclear what the fates are of Margery, Cersei, and Tommen. One can only hope that they are bound to Lady Olenna and her famously sharp tongue. The faith are not as interesting a foil as Tywin Lannister, and so the unraveling isn’t as satisfying or as shocking. It’s not been made clear enough why the Lannister’s and Tyrell’s lack teeth in the face of this enemy. It seems to me that the people have had many more reasons to rise up, particularly during the brief and ignoble reign of Joffrey Baratheon, but maybe that’s the point, this sort of insurrection has been brewing for a while. 

                In Dorne, Bronn gets to show off his singing chops before being brought to his knees by the poison from one of Oberyn’s daughter’s spears. In true GOT fashion, she opens her shirt to help him understand just how helpless he is against the poison, or in this case, a woman’s body.  Bronn is brought back to life by her antidote, the second time in the episode that a woman has dominated a scene, first with Sam and then with Bronn. And that’s the tough trap with Thrones yes? Powerful women and disenfranchised women mixed together, Cersei and Sansa and Dany on the same show.

This week’s episode is a promise of where we’re going. But more importantly, it was a reminder that the journey can be worth it.

A Poem about death and time and an orchard because those are the only real subjects

After a lunch of black grapes and cheese

The rains came

And chased the party into the house

In the clatter of dishes and raising of coats,

I slip away, through the holly and hedges

Down the stone path toward the apple orchard. 

I push aside the gate,

stone arch crumbled, lying amongst the

thistles and dried grass.

When I was a child,

we used to pick apples here, pink and crisp.

The hill is different now that they've gone,

trees untended, heavy with fruit and 

blackening cores, rotting at the base.

And yet, as I pick my way between them,

bees sifting the grass,

I think of years gone,

of light threading through the silvery boughs

when I'd run down the hill side to 

lick the neck of a girl, 

salty, sweet, intoxicating. 

The girl, now gone, 

countries away. 

I walked over stone and grass today

to find that lost summer of youth.

My feet treading clover and

buttercups, bent like  Claudel's statues

by the press of wind. 

Pebbles of rain

slide down my chin and onto my throat.

The rain slackens, and I hear the voices

of the party coming back to me.

I tread round the husks of apples

and pass the thin webs strung between the trees, 

 silver in silvery light,

husks of flies, spinning round. 

And I hear the sound

of time licking at my heels,

reminding me that one day,

these fields too will be gone,

land flattened by the seas.

And of me and those I have known

there will be nothing but matter, indistinct.

Up the hill, I hear the voices. 

And I reach out and hold onto one of them

 like it is a silver rope of light, 

and I wait for it to carry me home. 

Game Of Thrones: Unbowed, Unbent, Unbroken

The internet is full of hot takes on GOT this morning, some of which are extremely well thought out and reasoned responses to the show runners continued use of rape as a primary and essential plot driver. I suppose by fault I also have to begin at the ending of the show. There are a variety of different lenses through which to view the scene of marital bliss that ends this past week's episode. My perspective is just one more lens. However, like many other people, I didn't find the scene useful. I have an MFA in creative writing and though I often censor myself, I'm not particularly a fan of censorship. It's pretty hard right now in the current academic climate to say anything meaningful or controversial without a backlash. See: Dunham, Lena. etc. etc. However, the failure of the scene from my perspective is a failure on the part of the show runner's to understand the narrative meaningfulness of Sansa's wedding night rape. Essentially, it had none.

If the point was to tell us that Ramsey Bolton was a horrible person who would treat Sansa poorly, particularly in the bedroom that fact had already been made clear from prior episodes, including the torture of Theon. If the point was to have something terrible happen to Sansa, well, that ship sailed when Joffrey paraded her around to look at the decapitated head of her dead father. And if it was to indicate that Reek was turning back into Theon Greyjoy. Congratulations that was achieved in the prior scene. The failure was aesthetic, and I won't say above all else, but that was certainly the dimension where I feel the freest to criticize. I'm certain that there are some very valid reasons why the scene wasn't necessary, and some equally valid reasons why the show runners felt it was necessary. However, it failed as a plot device and took away form time that could have been spent with other characters. It would probably be a more forgivable offense if the same show runners hadn't already slogged through many scenes of Ramsey torturing Theon and a couple of questionable rape scenes. As it stands, it was a poor narrative decision, and I'll leave the culture wars to others.

It's a bad thing too that this episode of Thrones was going up against Mad Men. A show who's penultimate episode reminded us why we often watch television--because we care about how the fictional lives of the characters turn out. This crucial fact, which spoiler alert: Betty's impending death brought home, is in stark contrast to an episode of television that spends its time almost solely on religious fanatics and sadomasochists. This episode seemed to largely forget that we are looking for reasons to hope. Or perhaps we're supposed to think like Kafka, "There is hope, just not for us."

Earlier seasons of Game of Thrones often had episodes like last week, heavy on exposition, or like this week: kind of grim. Luckily, thus far the end of the seasons have paid off, making grumbling about interior episodes seem short-sighted. However, this episode, by far the weakest of the season, didn't really lay much groundwork. The excitement over Arya's transformation is long since gone, as dead as the little girl she gave the poisoned water to. Whatever fan lust was making Ja'chen Hagar a dream boat was taken down a bit when he spent a few minutes whipping Arya. It seems to me that this episode was about transformation: for Arya, for Theon, for Sansa, but it came at too much of a narrative cost. I'm glad that Arya is ready to become someone else, and I'm certain from talking to book readers that it was more laborious there, however, pairing her grim scenes with Ramsey's scenes for the second time this season did not seem like wise work.

In King's Landing, the religious fanatics have taken over the streets, imprisoning nearly every member of the house Tyrell. It's unclear what purpose this serves beyond a temporary reprieve for Cersei as she loses control of nearly everything. Is King Tommen that ineffectual? I feel like we needed more Sir Pounce in this and every episode if we're to believe that a fourteen year old boy wouldn't be raging around the castle at his seductive new lady being taken away. This definitely feels like swallowing a frog to get a fly, particularly when the queen herself has been accused of incest.

I'm not entirely certain how this is going to play out, but it seems unlikely that it won't end with the Tyrell's pounding on the gate at King's Landing with a rather large army, not an army that Cersei will be able to defeat without the help of Kevan, which may just be how Stannis or Littlefinger rises to the top.

Unfortunately, this episode also continued the rather clumsily constructed plot line in Dorn. The Sand Snakes, poorly written and poorly performed, attempted an abduction during the middle of the day, in the center of the palace grounds, and were met at the exact same moment by Bronna and Jaime. This is the sort of coincidence type of thing that thrones has largely avoided, and with good reason for the better part of five seasons. It looks clumsy, and even the rather captivating Bronn performed in a rather strange and confusing fight scene. Was he poisoned? I'm not sure. But the scene's construction was weak and ill thought out. As it is, I'm rather glad that we're leaving Dorn so quickly. This plot line, not drawn from the books, is the sort of thing that gets people annoyed at television shows. A plot is hatched, quickly moved into and quickly diffused without any real sense of foreboding or meaning.

The traveling duo of Ser Jorah and Tyrion came to a rather quick end as well when they were picked up by a rowdy band of pirates, who, Tyrion, thanks to his wit, was able to talk into getting them into Mereen. Now they have a faster way! This particular plot twist, on the heels of Ser Jorah's grey scale was one of the few successes of the hour, a development that was genuinely open ended for the characters involved as well as being a surprise. What does it mean that Jorah has grey scale? What does it mean that Tyrion is a dead man walking? We don't know, and it's often that sense of not knowing, of surprise, which makes Thrones so interesting.

Meanwhile, our favorite con artist Littlefinger, manages to get the okay to start moving out the nights of the Vale. It seems unlikely that he'll be mounting Sansa's head on a pike, though he might be planning on mounting Sansa. In short, I don't actually know what he's up to lest we ever forget his speech about chaos and climbing to the top of the mountain. For the purposes of the show I actually don't mind the pacing of his attempt at ascension. He was biding his time in King's Landing for years, and now he's on the prowl trying to climb to the top of the mountain.

Interestingly, his polar opposite, Varus, is seeking to bring the realm to the top of the wall. The two of them started out as key statesmen in King's Landing, who I originally had a hard time separating. However, as the show has continued the two of them have moved further and further away until we have the two characters pulling in opposite directions.

In general, it was a fairly grim episode that didn't have substantial pay offs. Certainly as a viewer I'd have liked to have seen more of nearly anything more than Ramsey or Sand Snakes. I haven't given up on the show because of one rather untidy episode. There is still time for the various plot strands to come together as they often have. I'm not sounding the alarm, but I am watching closer as Beneioff and Weiss head off into the final two seasons on their own two man journey, unmoored completely from the source that has carried them through the twists and turns thus far.

A Garden Poem

This afternoon I lay
down in clover
washed by the sun
pillows of green light.

The Spider Wort blooms,
purple flowers wrapped
too in green.
Robins genuflect in the dirt,
their cowled heads bowed
in supplication.

Stay. Stay in the poem, a professor
once told me. And I feel myself
trying to leave this moment,
to leave the Iris to fall on its own
to the oak who's seeds fall
like a thick, rain.

All you get is this one moment
the Robin reminds me,
a worm blooming from its beak.
But I want to float away
like bubbles from a plastic wand
rainbow hued circles floating
beyond the fence posts 
into the sky above.

Game of Thrones: Kill the Boy

Game Of Thrones

                I wrote a couple of weeks back that I was concerned about the future of villainy in Westeros. The Lannister’s from top to bottom were not only the most evil characters on GOT; they were often the most interesting. Charles Dance’s reign of terror as Tywin Lannister was first rate from beginning to end, his subtle manipulation of his children was like watching a deadly spider spin a web. Tyiron has proven himself to be the most interesting character on the show and Jaime has evolved from someone who shoved a small child out a window into someone that viewers would be sad to lose. 

                This is a credit both to George R.R. Martin and the casting of Beneioff and Weiss. Unfortunately, the same cannot be said thus far of the Bolton clan. The episode swirls, and there was a long stretch of exposition in this one, it was almost like Samuel Tarly was reading through an old book at times, around the Bolton’s. However, the Bolton’s lack the nuance, the temerity, the fierceness of the Lannister’s. The most humanizing moment we get is when Roose tells Ramsey that he’s actually his son because he raped his mother and hanged the man who would have been his father. We’re not quite approaching touchy feely hear. And even though he says, “The North is ours; it seems a bit early in the game to be saying that.”

                The problem with characters who are just strictly “evil” is that they turn out to not be as arresting. Rather, you root against them, but the stake in it isn’t at large. GOT has specialized in nuanced characters, The Hound anyone, who manage to make you feel that the world is a conflicted place and the margin upon which a man or woman chooses to be good or bad can be razor thin. The Bolton’s don’t make you feel that way, and so I’m sorry and have been sorry in the past to see that particular story line played out as much as it has been. No, I don’t need to see Ramsey Bolton taking his girlfriend from behind after threatening her to know that he’s troubled, nor that he owns the former Theon Greyjoy; we all have our Waterloo and Theon’s was the weenie roast. 

                Sansa has jumped out of the frying pan and into the fire, and it’s becoming clear to her rather quickly that Ramsey isn’t much better than Joffrey, but she’s more equipped, at least according to Littlefinger, to deal with his machinations. We’ll see. At best there are hints that Theon will tell her about Rikkon and Bran, or perhaps play a role in setting her free. As it is, Brienne and Podrick and Podrick’s legendary sexual prowess are around to keep her safe. 

Up North the transformation of Jon Snow continues. He shifts gears in an instant, mirroring Dany out east in trying to end centuries and millennia old wars by bringing the Wildlings into the fold. It’s the second episode where Tyrion points out that the thing that makes the Wildlings so bad is that they are born north of the wall, an idea which Jon’s love of Ygritte has taught him well. Of course, he’ll probably get poisoned by his squire. But I’m assuming the mixed blood of Stark and Taergaeryrn will allow him to be saved. Though I’m profoundly excited about Jon Snow learning to lead, I’d have been a bit less hasty in taking off Eric The Red’s chains as his beard is bigger than Jon’s torso. Nevertheless, Jon’s play is the right one, and the first in a series of plays that will need to be made if anyone is going to survive the attack of the ice zombies. In season one, during the War of the Five Kings, I lamented how little attention was being paid to the threat in the north. Jon is at least attempting to be the unifying force that is sorely needed. Also, I can’t wait to watch his hair blowing in the wind on the ship as he gazes out over the water. Heart flutter. 

In Old Valyria Ser Jorah and Tyrion sail the narrow channels, reciting poetry together in the dusky light. Then Drogon the dragon flies overhead, after no doubt spending some quality time with a dragon lady of his own. Sigh.This romantic scene is interrupted when stone men start dropping from the cliffs and trying to eat them alive. Nothing spoils a romantic eve out on the water like cannibalism. I’m not sure why the Stone Men don’t sink in the water, but I suppose that’s a question for another day. As it is, the episode ends with Ser Jorah pulling back his shirt to reveal the beginnings of grey scale, which it doesn’t look like he intends to share with his new found friend and poetry partner, Tyrion. Whether this will lead to an outbreak of grey scale or a one man wrecking crew is rather unclear, but it’s probably not good news for the gallant Ser Jorah. And by gallant I mean soon to be dead. 

Meanwhile, Stannis continues his quest to win father of the year, pointing out that he’s not leaving his daughter behind with a bunch of murderer’s and rapist. To be fair, we learned in an earlier season that many of the men are not as bad as they seem, but poor folk shipped off for stealing eggs. Still, Stannis marches south to take on Roose Bolton, though he’s sans his fleet. He apparently has a larger army and is considered the finest general left in Westeros. This can only mean that he’s going to lose spectacularly, probably when Brienne kills him. Sigh. 

In Mereen things are, finally? Oh please tell me, moving along? Dany, a bit peeved at the death of Sir Barristan erstwhile knight and famous busker, decided to burn some Lords and feed them to her dragons. It does give Emilia Clarke a nice moment of dramatically walking towards the camera with an icy glare, which I think we’ve all missed…..okay so it happens every episode. Luckily, Missandei, after briefly kissing Grey Worm, (Note: I could do without this love scene. I’ve been told some people think it’s sweet, but after watching seasons of Ramsey and Jaime etc. I don’t know what to do with sweet. Especially because he doesn’t have the butt of a young Rob Stark) gives Dany an idea. Sort of. 

Dany’s choice to reopen the fighting pits and to marry a Meerenese master gives her the opportunity to bring more long term stability through that old tradition: marriage. It seems like it’s the right play, but I can only assume that Dany will be in Mereen long after the battle in Westeros has been fought, debating whether to allow the people to assemble in the streets to protest things like the oncoming ice zombies. 

The episode wasn’t the strongest of the season. Though the flyover by Drogon and Stone Men dropping into the water was scary and introduced a new plot element, parts of the episode, I’m looking at you Bolton’s, dragged. In fact, part of the reason I would have been fine with Grey Worm’s death is that the field needs to be winnowed. If the show only has twenty five more episodes to go then some people are going to have to drift off into the long night. So long and thanks for all the grey scale.

The things I miss about you

The rain started around 8:30, but I still walked down the street to get coffee. Places had stopped serving decaf; everyone was pouring coffee over bits of diamonds or something in some sort of attempt at achieving zen through cacao beans. People are always trying to achieve zen one way or another, and I distrusted coffee as much as I distrusted politics and religion. The human state of affairs was a fairly static thing, not to be out smarted by cold brews, slow pour coffees or anything of the like. Life is as confusing, relentless and boring as ever.

At the coffee shop I drank coffee and looked across the room at a woman I loved. After a while, when she didn't notice me, I watched the small bead of condensation on the wooden table where I'd rested my cup, the small smudges at the edge of the window, which looked out onto a street where cars were parked or honking or looking impatient, grey and blue. I listened to the song they were playing over the speakers, half-distracted by the rain falling on the asphalt.

I'd parted from someone recently, which is really just a nice way of saying that she left. I didn't mind because things had been going south for a while. In the evenings, I'd watch Jeopardy and try and get all the answers right. Invariably, I'd be wrong at least percent of the time, and this bothered her. "If you don't know," she asked, "Why shout out the answer?" The truth of the matter is that if I didn't shout things out when I didn't know I'd have to pass my entire life as a mute. I don't know myself, or the world, or who the first president of Mauritania was, but I can guess, I can flail around. I can yell at the television as if the world is something I understand. I could have been Ken Jennings if she'd supported me, but you know how it goes.

The moment she left I started to miss her. I miss the way that she used to take her shoes off by the door, leaving her small pale feet exposed and how quietly she'd then move around the apartment, opening the blinds to sit in the afternoon sunlight while reading a magazine. I missed how when she showered, she'd leave the door open and then sing, very lightly, slightly off key, but unselfconsciously, as though you couldn't hear her even though she  must have known that you could. I missed making love, sure, but everyone misses that sort of thing. I missed the way she used to sit on the couch and brush her hair in the morning, humming along as she pulled the comb through her hair in the early morning light. I guess the list could just go on forever, but it still wouldn't bring her back.

Some Writing

After his mother’s funeral was over and the few mourners had left, faces he couldn’t quite place in the fog, he sat on the cold stones and reminisced about the summer when he began to doubt the existence of things.


His childhood, to that point, had been about credulity. The back yard was the clay upon which he pressed his bits of belief. The yard was framed twice over, first by a graying cedar fence and then by junipers, winters gem, and English Holly. The rectangular center of the yard was made up of ambiguous brown grass cut through with clover and dandelion, which was occasionally cropped by the neighbor’s cadre of rabbits. The right side of the yard was dominated by a large white pine, branches lopped off so that the first available foot hold was well beyond his reach that rose spire like into the bright blue cathedral of the sky. That lack of a foothold, so precious to a child, led him away from the awesome pine and towards the old silk tree in the side yard. The tree was positioned just behind the gate on a small strip of land that was shaded almost year round by the junipers and winter gem. It stood about eight feet tall, sturdy and many limbed, its grey bark riddled by holes from some long dead woodpecker. The umbrella shaped canopy would carry pale pink blossoms come spring. He loved the tree with the sort of intensity that other children reserved for their dogs. He didn’t care for dogs.


He remembered spending evenings, the sky a purple bruise, a warm wind blowing from the west through the small valley town raising goose bumps on his bare arms, climbing into the welcoming arms of the silk tree, placing his foot at an intersection between two limbs that looked like nothing so much as an elbow. And he’d sit, for what seemed like days, with his spine pressed, not uncomfortably, against the tree’s reassuring trunk, his feet dangling in space, while mosquitoes and robins engaged in a deathly evening ballet. Beneath him bits of the foundation lay exposed, exhumed for a canal he’d built for his army men a summer ago. He’d used the larger rocks—dolostone, limestone, and brown chert—as mountains for the soldiers to climb over as they trudged wearily onward. In the distance other small birds, nuthatches and house sparrows, kept the evening full of song. They were average singers at best.

On a journey

The door has been open all afternoon. It is her contention that if we keep the door closed no insects will get inside the house. It is my contention that insects will eventually find their way outside of the house if they accidentally wander in. Neither one of has thought of consulting the insects, who buzz indiscriminately either way.

This morning I downloaded several apps trying to find out what white bush, rich in clusters of white flowers and bees, was in our front yard. It's a Spirea though there was some debate about how to pronounce it properly.

For a while, Julian and I jumped over the Black-eyed Susans and stood beneath the Red Maple. "Jump," he said, though he can't do it yet himself. Then he'd stand against the fence and wait to catch his breath, asking us to join him.

Upstairs, while I'm peeing I can hear a bee buzzing beneath the blinds, smacking himself fruitlessly against the window. I don't know how or why he flew upstairs when there is Spirea to be had. I think about scolding him, but he's only a bee. I leave him to the important work of banging his body against the glass. I have other things to do today.

Game of Thrones Season 5 Episode 4: Sons of the Harpy

The pacing of a Game of Thrones season has always been as impressive as that of someone frequenting Littlefinger’s brothel for afternoon delight. And after only the fourth episode of the season, the seeds for one giant cluster of a mash up of people and ideologies has already been sown. I did this in Season 1 during the War of the Five Kings, and I think it’s time to do a quick revisit of the people vying for the Iron Throne.

Tommen- Pros-Actually already has the Iron Throne and presumably the backing of uncle (Kevan!!!) as well as the scheming smarts of his wife Margery.

Cons-Repeatedly called a weak boy.  He has already been outmaneuvered by his mother and has proven himself to be a weak boy in the first real scene of conflict. Or, you know, a benevolent ruler who doesn’t want blood –shed. But this is King’s Landing, yo, let’s split some skulls.

Predicted ending: Tommen isn't keeping this things despite Margery's claws trying to pull him up. 

Stannis Baratheon-Pros-He has a large army and is repeatedly called the best general in Westeros even after the disaster at Blackwater. Stannis is also winning hearts and minds with his head nods to Jon Snow and impassioned defenses of his daughter. He can also turn into a shadow demon after sex. Most men just fall asleep.

Cons-He’s stuck in the North and can’t really find anyone to back him despite his legitimate claim to the throne. Is turning into a black shadow who can creep around under tents killing people like a one time thing or what? He has to get through the Bolton’s and Lannister’s just to reach the throne, then presumably hold off an army of unsullied and dragons.

Predicted ending: Stannis wins the North and on his way to King's Landing, finally having won the approbation of the viewers and Westeros is killed by Brienne. 

Littlefinger-Pros-He has the knights of the veil, in an apparently indestructible kingdom. He is the best schemer in all the realm, which he tells Sansa, and his fingerprints are all over everything happening in King’s Landing and Winterfell. He gave that great speech during the chaos episode that let you know he was going to be a force.

Cons-Maybe he should take a break for a minute. He’s been the Lord in the veil for  like a year, and he’s already double crossing Lannister’s and hanging out with Roose Bolton, who regularly flays people like it’s no big deal. He’s also not much of a general, already conceding that the North will probably be taken by Stannis. Kind of a douche.

Predicted Ending: Petyr isn't going away anytime soon. This guy is riding coat tails right up until the end....at which point he'll be killed, probably by a goblin or something. 

Daenerys Targaryen-Pros-Has harlots and priestesses of the night proclaim her as the savior. She has three dragons…who sometimes maybe listen to her? She has the Second Sons and the Unsullied, two famed groups of warriors along with Ser Barrisan and Ser Jorah….well she’s still got the Second Sons and Unsullied.

Cons-Name is way to hard to spell. The children of Westeros will be curing her for years in their classrooms. Do kids go to school in Westeros? They don’t seem to. Maybe they could all work in factories instead. Something tells me this world doesn’t have child labor laws. She seems a bit too entrenched at Mereen. I wouldn’t be surprised if the next three George R.R. Martin books center around the difficulties of having children and balancing your career and raising kids in the city of Mereen. I expect that plot line to come in at roughly 1,000 pages. Also, the Unsullied, kind of sullied after that poor performance against the Sons of the Golden Harpy last night.

Predicted ending: Rides off into the sunset on a matching dragon with Jon Snow, their luxurious hair floating in the wind behind them.

Jon Snow-Pros-Hair. Uncertain lineage of a classic fantasy story. Beautiful long hair and piercing emo looks. Pretty good executioner’s stroke. 

Cons-Uncertain lineage. Not really in command of an army right now. Still in love with a dead woman who isn’t coming back to life. 

Predicted outcome-See above.

 


If it wasn't clear by Sir Jorah spending his free time in a whore house watching Daenyrs look alikes ply their trade, he's still kind of hung up on her. Tyrion, after getting his gag removed does point out that this gambit might not actually work, but Sir Jorah Mormont is too busy looking off into the distance wondering why Mary Crawley spurned him to think about the possible consequences. As Tyrion points out, he was headed to Mereen anyway. 

The second scene is also on a boat, and it's interesting to think now how many scenes are starting out on one boat or another. The creators are simultaneously contracting the space between Dorn and Westeros or Braavos and simultaneously making the viewer aware that distances need to be traversed. Apparently Martin makes this laborious, and I think the creators of the show have done a nice job of moving characters reasonably from spot to spot when it suits them. Obviously, you don't want Arya and the Hound to move too quickly because we'd have missed all that banter and threats of murder. Jaime asks about the Sapphire aisle, a picturesque sun splashed piece of real estate in the distance, and you do start to wonder when someone is going to realize that Bronn and Tyrion are on to something with the F and F lifestyle. Jaime, unfortunately, doesn't see it that way as he plans to end his life with the woman he loves...his sister. Though apparently? he's decided that Tyrion should be split in two. A development that I don't want to see in less Tyrion is like a worm and we wind up with two of him.

Bronn, and thank goodness he's back, ever the practical man, points out that the ships' captain could just as easily sail up the coast and give them away, which he does. This leads to a delightful fight scene where Bronn deftly kills two men and unhorses the third, leaving the one-handed Jaime to fight him off. Jaime as is typical of the Lannisters manages to win the fight with gold. Though it seems the journey of Bronn and Jaime will be abbreviated, I can tell that I'll miss it.

The subplot in Dorn lacks a bit of gravitas thus far. Illyria Martell was a fascinating woman when she was wrapped around Oberyn and roughly three other men and women, but she lacks his nuance and charm. It's one of the few times where I wonder what's been lost by following exactingly the plot of the books, particularly when Oberyn was so expertly played that he was virtually the star of the prior season. I suppose the only real saving grace is that his magnetic charm makes it possible to believe that he would inspire such devotion. Even if the devotion came out in a cartoonish display of violence when one of his "daughters" heave ho'ed a spear into someone's face who had actually given them legitimate information. Also, you kind of need to be a loan hero or have a rather large army to make a difference in this world. The group is kind of an outlier and not in a particularly good way. I'm pulling for Bronn and Jaime if only for their acting chops.

Back in King's Landing Cersei has everything under control. And what I mean by has everything under control is she's set a group of raving fanatics loose in the streets to arrest the King's brother and randomly beat people. It's a nice short-term power play, though it may backfire as the people in the street look above to the King's Guard and soldiers and find the turning their backs. This feels like swallowing a bear to eat a lion. It's unclear where this leaves Tommen and Margery, but it does undermine his tenuous kingship. We also have people in the street calling him an abomination, which doesn't bode well. As a viewer, we can only hope that it leads to Olenna taking up her formidable role in the capital again. Beneioff and Weiss have been smart enough to expand Sansa's role and bring back Bronn, it seems to me that they'd be wise enough to bring Olenna's quips back as well.

I do take issue with the presentation of the High Sparrow, who is quoting about poverty and ladling soup a day ago, and who now is sanctioning bludgeoning in the street. I know that George R.R. Martin is no fan of religion, but it would have been nice to have some diversity on the show rather than everyone who is religious being a raving lunatic who sets people on fire or cudgels them. The transformation felt a bit clumsy to me.

This beating takes place after Cersei clears out the befuddled Mace Tyrell. To be fair, he seems like the sort of guy who'd be befuddled if you asked him in which cardinal direction the sun rose.The crown is once again behind on its debts and quickly falling under the sway of house Tyrell as it had previously been under the thumb of the Lannister's.

Up North the saga of Jon Snow continues to grow in complexity. We find him seated at a table filling out paperwork to obtain new recruits. And, perhaps critically, he signs the note asking the Bolton's for men as well. This seems critical because it was Ned and Rob's inability to compromise that lead to their demise. Jon is the first of the Stark lineage to retain some honor while growing. Speaking of honor, he's paid a visit by Melisandre. Who, to her and the show's credit, has become a believable and viable part of Westeros when she seemed out of place at first. And just as I was watching the light shine through on her face and Jon's face, I thought to myself, these are two pretty damn beautiful people, sure enough she was naked seconds later. And though Jon held himself back, perhaps the critical point is why Melisandre wants him at all? She has never shown an interest in sex for pleasure, rather, she's more into leeches and birthing shadows, the latter of which she hints at with Jon, who's uncertain lineage is almost certainly more than just a bastard of Ned Stark's from a tavern wench. The critical question, and one which I don't have the answer to, is where and when Jon will ride south to Winterfell? and I suppose it's also an open question as to whether he does at all, or whether his glory will come from defending the wall from ice zombies.

The resurrection of Stannis continued north of the wall as well during a key scene with his daughter. For all his whinging about being the one true king, it's only in recent episodes that Stannis has started to round into a recognizable character, and by that I mean both good and bad, deeply flawed and honorable. His speech to his daughter was probably the sweetest moment we've seen on the show thus far as he clearly blamed himself for her acquisition of grey scale, and moved heaven and earth to save her. This version of Stannis is one who is believable as the heir to the Iron Throne, and I don't think it would hurt the show to continue to include such viable human moments amidst the guts and glory of taking kingdoms with fire breathing dragons.

At Winterfell, Lord Baelisch is off to greener pastures leaving Sansa in the capable hands and whips of Ramsey Bolton. Its' only a matter of episodes until we're all watching the Fifty Shades of Grey that we didn't get in theater. However, before leaving Petyr relates the story of Rhaegar and Sansa's aunt Lyanna, a beautiful woman who's abduction and rape lead to the rebellion. This episode is rich with Rhaegar, and his history. Meanwhile, Baelisch confidently tells Sansa that either the Bolton's will die at Stannis' hands or at her own. And though he's confident in her, I'm not exactly sure that she's going to escape without a wound or two during this transition. She does say, "I suppose the next time I see you I'll be a married woman," perhaps hoping to elicit something from Lord Baelisch. However, he seems unfazed and kisses her weirdly on the lips before saying he wants to move away from where the dead can hear him. Lady Stoneheart?

We end with Sir Barrisan, the man who has seen it all in Westeros. In season one Jaime described him as a painter who's only color was red. He's relating stories to Dany, and you have the feeling that he's happy at the end of his life to have settled into the benevolent grandfather role, relaying stories of singing on the streets with Rhaegar, or drinking in the taverns. He's as close to a living historian as we have on the show. A man who has been through the events and histories that we all get secondhand. He says, Rhaegar never liked killing; he liked singing." Sadly, this reminder of Sir Barrisan turns out to be a red herring, one which I caught and said audibly, "don't kill an old man."

This happens because the Sons of the Harpy, wearing some great pharoh masks set upon the unsullied in the streets, where the unsullied fight like some extras from a History Channel special rather than war machines. It's pretty much a 50-50 fight, which is perhaps indicative of street fighting, but it also casts some shade on their ability to fight. As such, both Grey Worm and Sir Barrisan are lying in the street around a pile of bodies, presumably dead, presumably the cause of a great change in Mereen. Plot wise, a change for Dany is needed, but it feels sad to give up Sir Barrisan when we were just being reminded of how likeable he was, which isn't something that can be said of many people in Westeros.

Of course, none of this would have happened if skeezy Dario Naharis, the original actor had remained on the show. He's have been in the whorehouse and out on the street in no time flat, and remember that he, Sir Jorah and Grey Worm took out a troop of roughly 50 guys like they were 1990 Ninja Turtles reincarnated. One can only assume that the knew Dario was too busy writing poetry while nude in the moonlight to help patrol the streets. And for that small decision, a great man died.