The pacing of a Game of Thrones season has always been as impressive
as that of someone frequenting Littlefinger’s brothel for afternoon delight.
And after only the fourth episode of the season, the seeds for one giant
cluster of a mash up of people and ideologies has already been sown. I did this
in Season 1 during the War of the Five Kings, and I think it’s time to do a
quick revisit of the people vying for the Iron Throne.
Tommen- Pros-Actually already has the Iron Throne and
presumably the backing of uncle (Kevan!!!) as well as the scheming smarts of
his wife Margery.
Cons-Repeatedly called a weak boy. He has already been outmaneuvered by his
mother and has proven himself to be a weak boy in the first real scene of
conflict. Or, you know, a benevolent ruler who doesn’t want blood –shed. But
this is King’s Landing, yo, let’s split some skulls.
Predicted ending: Tommen isn't keeping this things despite Margery's claws trying to pull him up.
Predicted ending: Tommen isn't keeping this things despite Margery's claws trying to pull him up.
Stannis Baratheon-Pros-He has a large army and is repeatedly
called the best general in Westeros even after the disaster at Blackwater.
Stannis is also winning hearts and minds with his head nods to Jon Snow and
impassioned defenses of his daughter. He can also turn into a shadow demon
after sex. Most men just fall asleep.
Cons-He’s stuck in the North and can’t really find anyone to
back him despite his legitimate claim to the throne. Is turning into a black
shadow who can creep around under tents killing people like a one time thing or
what? He has to get through the Bolton’s and Lannister’s just to reach the
throne, then presumably hold off an army of unsullied and dragons.
Predicted ending: Stannis wins the North and on his way to King's Landing, finally having won the approbation of the viewers and Westeros is killed by Brienne.
Predicted ending: Stannis wins the North and on his way to King's Landing, finally having won the approbation of the viewers and Westeros is killed by Brienne.
Littlefinger-Pros-He has the knights of the veil, in an
apparently indestructible kingdom. He is the best schemer in all the realm,
which he tells Sansa, and his fingerprints are all over everything happening in
King’s Landing and Winterfell. He gave that great speech during the chaos
episode that let you know he was going to be a force.
Cons-Maybe he should take a break for a minute. He’s been
the Lord in the veil for like a year,
and he’s already double crossing Lannister’s and hanging out with Roose Bolton,
who regularly flays people like it’s no big deal. He’s also not much of a
general, already conceding that the North will probably be taken by Stannis.
Kind of a douche.
Predicted Ending: Petyr isn't going away anytime soon. This guy is riding coat tails right up until the end....at which point he'll be killed, probably by a goblin or something.
Predicted Ending: Petyr isn't going away anytime soon. This guy is riding coat tails right up until the end....at which point he'll be killed, probably by a goblin or something.
Daenerys Targaryen-Pros-Has harlots and priestesses of the
night proclaim her as the savior. She has three dragons…who sometimes maybe
listen to her? She has the Second Sons and the Unsullied, two famed groups of
warriors along with Ser Barrisan and Ser Jorah….well she’s still got the Second
Sons and Unsullied.
Cons-Name is way to hard to spell. The children of Westeros
will be curing her for years in their classrooms. Do kids go to school in
Westeros? They don’t seem to. Maybe they could all work in factories instead.
Something tells me this world doesn’t have child labor laws. She seems a bit
too entrenched at Mereen. I wouldn’t be surprised if the next three George R.R.
Martin books center around the difficulties of having children and balancing your
career and raising kids in the city of Mereen. I expect that plot line to come
in at roughly 1,000 pages. Also, the Unsullied, kind of sullied after that poor
performance against the Sons of the Golden Harpy last night.
Predicted ending: Rides off into the sunset on a matching dragon with Jon Snow, their luxurious hair floating in the wind behind them.
If it wasn't clear by Sir Jorah spending his free time in a whore house watching Daenyrs look alikes ply their trade, he's still kind of hung up on her. Tyrion, after getting his gag removed does point out that this gambit might not actually work, but Sir Jorah Mormont is too busy looking off into the distance wondering why Mary Crawley spurned him to think about the possible consequences. As Tyrion points out, he was headed to Mereen anyway.
The second scene is also on a boat, and it's interesting to think now how many scenes are starting out on one boat or another. The creators are simultaneously contracting the space between Dorn and Westeros or Braavos and simultaneously making the viewer aware that distances need to be traversed. Apparently Martin makes this laborious, and I think the creators of the show have done a nice job of moving characters reasonably from spot to spot when it suits them. Obviously, you don't want Arya and the Hound to move too quickly because we'd have missed all that banter and threats of murder. Jaime asks about the Sapphire aisle, a picturesque sun splashed piece of real estate in the distance, and you do start to wonder when someone is going to realize that Bronn and Tyrion are on to something with the F and F lifestyle. Jaime, unfortunately, doesn't see it that way as he plans to end his life with the woman he loves...his sister. Though apparently? he's decided that Tyrion should be split in two. A development that I don't want to see in less Tyrion is like a worm and we wind up with two of him.
Bronn, and thank goodness he's back, ever the practical man, points out that the ships' captain could just as easily sail up the coast and give them away, which he does. This leads to a delightful fight scene where Bronn deftly kills two men and unhorses the third, leaving the one-handed Jaime to fight him off. Jaime as is typical of the Lannisters manages to win the fight with gold. Though it seems the journey of Bronn and Jaime will be abbreviated, I can tell that I'll miss it.
The subplot in Dorn lacks a bit of gravitas thus far. Illyria Martell was a fascinating woman when she was wrapped around Oberyn and roughly three other men and women, but she lacks his nuance and charm. It's one of the few times where I wonder what's been lost by following exactingly the plot of the books, particularly when Oberyn was so expertly played that he was virtually the star of the prior season. I suppose the only real saving grace is that his magnetic charm makes it possible to believe that he would inspire such devotion. Even if the devotion came out in a cartoonish display of violence when one of his "daughters" heave ho'ed a spear into someone's face who had actually given them legitimate information. Also, you kind of need to be a loan hero or have a rather large army to make a difference in this world. The group is kind of an outlier and not in a particularly good way. I'm pulling for Bronn and Jaime if only for their acting chops.
Back in King's Landing Cersei has everything under control. And what I mean by has everything under control is she's set a group of raving fanatics loose in the streets to arrest the King's brother and randomly beat people. It's a nice short-term power play, though it may backfire as the people in the street look above to the King's Guard and soldiers and find the turning their backs. This feels like swallowing a bear to eat a lion. It's unclear where this leaves Tommen and Margery, but it does undermine his tenuous kingship. We also have people in the street calling him an abomination, which doesn't bode well. As a viewer, we can only hope that it leads to Olenna taking up her formidable role in the capital again. Beneioff and Weiss have been smart enough to expand Sansa's role and bring back Bronn, it seems to me that they'd be wise enough to bring Olenna's quips back as well.
I do take issue with the presentation of the High Sparrow, who is quoting about poverty and ladling soup a day ago, and who now is sanctioning bludgeoning in the street. I know that George R.R. Martin is no fan of religion, but it would have been nice to have some diversity on the show rather than everyone who is religious being a raving lunatic who sets people on fire or cudgels them. The transformation felt a bit clumsy to me.
This beating takes place after Cersei clears out the befuddled Mace Tyrell. To be fair, he seems like the sort of guy who'd be befuddled if you asked him in which cardinal direction the sun rose.The crown is once again behind on its debts and quickly falling under the sway of house Tyrell as it had previously been under the thumb of the Lannister's.
Up North the saga of Jon Snow continues to grow in complexity. We find him seated at a table filling out paperwork to obtain new recruits. And, perhaps critically, he signs the note asking the Bolton's for men as well. This seems critical because it was Ned and Rob's inability to compromise that lead to their demise. Jon is the first of the Stark lineage to retain some honor while growing. Speaking of honor, he's paid a visit by Melisandre. Who, to her and the show's credit, has become a believable and viable part of Westeros when she seemed out of place at first. And just as I was watching the light shine through on her face and Jon's face, I thought to myself, these are two pretty damn beautiful people, sure enough she was naked seconds later. And though Jon held himself back, perhaps the critical point is why Melisandre wants him at all? She has never shown an interest in sex for pleasure, rather, she's more into leeches and birthing shadows, the latter of which she hints at with Jon, who's uncertain lineage is almost certainly more than just a bastard of Ned Stark's from a tavern wench. The critical question, and one which I don't have the answer to, is where and when Jon will ride south to Winterfell? and I suppose it's also an open question as to whether he does at all, or whether his glory will come from defending the wall from ice zombies.
The resurrection of Stannis continued north of the wall as well during a key scene with his daughter. For all his whinging about being the one true king, it's only in recent episodes that Stannis has started to round into a recognizable character, and by that I mean both good and bad, deeply flawed and honorable. His speech to his daughter was probably the sweetest moment we've seen on the show thus far as he clearly blamed himself for her acquisition of grey scale, and moved heaven and earth to save her. This version of Stannis is one who is believable as the heir to the Iron Throne, and I don't think it would hurt the show to continue to include such viable human moments amidst the guts and glory of taking kingdoms with fire breathing dragons.
At Winterfell, Lord Baelisch is off to greener pastures leaving Sansa in the capable hands and whips of Ramsey Bolton. Its' only a matter of episodes until we're all watching the Fifty Shades of Grey that we didn't get in theater. However, before leaving Petyr relates the story of Rhaegar and Sansa's aunt Lyanna, a beautiful woman who's abduction and rape lead to the rebellion. This episode is rich with Rhaegar, and his history. Meanwhile, Baelisch confidently tells Sansa that either the Bolton's will die at Stannis' hands or at her own. And though he's confident in her, I'm not exactly sure that she's going to escape without a wound or two during this transition. She does say, "I suppose the next time I see you I'll be a married woman," perhaps hoping to elicit something from Lord Baelisch. However, he seems unfazed and kisses her weirdly on the lips before saying he wants to move away from where the dead can hear him. Lady Stoneheart?
We end with Sir Barrisan, the man who has seen it all in Westeros. In season one Jaime described him as a painter who's only color was red. He's relating stories to Dany, and you have the feeling that he's happy at the end of his life to have settled into the benevolent grandfather role, relaying stories of singing on the streets with Rhaegar, or drinking in the taverns. He's as close to a living historian as we have on the show. A man who has been through the events and histories that we all get secondhand. He says, Rhaegar never liked killing; he liked singing." Sadly, this reminder of Sir Barrisan turns out to be a red herring, one which I caught and said audibly, "don't kill an old man."
This happens because the Sons of the Harpy, wearing some great pharoh masks set upon the unsullied in the streets, where the unsullied fight like some extras from a History Channel special rather than war machines. It's pretty much a 50-50 fight, which is perhaps indicative of street fighting, but it also casts some shade on their ability to fight. As such, both Grey Worm and Sir Barrisan are lying in the street around a pile of bodies, presumably dead, presumably the cause of a great change in Mereen. Plot wise, a change for Dany is needed, but it feels sad to give up Sir Barrisan when we were just being reminded of how likeable he was, which isn't something that can be said of many people in Westeros.
Of course, none of this would have happened if skeezy Dario Naharis, the original actor had remained on the show. He's have been in the whorehouse and out on the street in no time flat, and remember that he, Sir Jorah and Grey Worm took out a troop of roughly 50 guys like they were 1990 Ninja Turtles reincarnated. One can only assume that the knew Dario was too busy writing poetry while nude in the moonlight to help patrol the streets. And for that small decision, a great man died.
Predicted ending: Rides off into the sunset on a matching dragon with Jon Snow, their luxurious hair floating in the wind behind them.
Jon Snow-Pros-Hair. Uncertain lineage of a classic fantasy
story. Beautiful long hair and piercing emo looks. Pretty good executioner’s
stroke.
Cons-Uncertain lineage. Not really in command of an army
right now. Still in love with a dead woman who isn’t coming back to life.
Predicted outcome-See above.
If it wasn't clear by Sir Jorah spending his free time in a whore house watching Daenyrs look alikes ply their trade, he's still kind of hung up on her. Tyrion, after getting his gag removed does point out that this gambit might not actually work, but Sir Jorah Mormont is too busy looking off into the distance wondering why Mary Crawley spurned him to think about the possible consequences. As Tyrion points out, he was headed to Mereen anyway.
The second scene is also on a boat, and it's interesting to think now how many scenes are starting out on one boat or another. The creators are simultaneously contracting the space between Dorn and Westeros or Braavos and simultaneously making the viewer aware that distances need to be traversed. Apparently Martin makes this laborious, and I think the creators of the show have done a nice job of moving characters reasonably from spot to spot when it suits them. Obviously, you don't want Arya and the Hound to move too quickly because we'd have missed all that banter and threats of murder. Jaime asks about the Sapphire aisle, a picturesque sun splashed piece of real estate in the distance, and you do start to wonder when someone is going to realize that Bronn and Tyrion are on to something with the F and F lifestyle. Jaime, unfortunately, doesn't see it that way as he plans to end his life with the woman he loves...his sister. Though apparently? he's decided that Tyrion should be split in two. A development that I don't want to see in less Tyrion is like a worm and we wind up with two of him.
Bronn, and thank goodness he's back, ever the practical man, points out that the ships' captain could just as easily sail up the coast and give them away, which he does. This leads to a delightful fight scene where Bronn deftly kills two men and unhorses the third, leaving the one-handed Jaime to fight him off. Jaime as is typical of the Lannisters manages to win the fight with gold. Though it seems the journey of Bronn and Jaime will be abbreviated, I can tell that I'll miss it.
The subplot in Dorn lacks a bit of gravitas thus far. Illyria Martell was a fascinating woman when she was wrapped around Oberyn and roughly three other men and women, but she lacks his nuance and charm. It's one of the few times where I wonder what's been lost by following exactingly the plot of the books, particularly when Oberyn was so expertly played that he was virtually the star of the prior season. I suppose the only real saving grace is that his magnetic charm makes it possible to believe that he would inspire such devotion. Even if the devotion came out in a cartoonish display of violence when one of his "daughters" heave ho'ed a spear into someone's face who had actually given them legitimate information. Also, you kind of need to be a loan hero or have a rather large army to make a difference in this world. The group is kind of an outlier and not in a particularly good way. I'm pulling for Bronn and Jaime if only for their acting chops.
Back in King's Landing Cersei has everything under control. And what I mean by has everything under control is she's set a group of raving fanatics loose in the streets to arrest the King's brother and randomly beat people. It's a nice short-term power play, though it may backfire as the people in the street look above to the King's Guard and soldiers and find the turning their backs. This feels like swallowing a bear to eat a lion. It's unclear where this leaves Tommen and Margery, but it does undermine his tenuous kingship. We also have people in the street calling him an abomination, which doesn't bode well. As a viewer, we can only hope that it leads to Olenna taking up her formidable role in the capital again. Beneioff and Weiss have been smart enough to expand Sansa's role and bring back Bronn, it seems to me that they'd be wise enough to bring Olenna's quips back as well.
I do take issue with the presentation of the High Sparrow, who is quoting about poverty and ladling soup a day ago, and who now is sanctioning bludgeoning in the street. I know that George R.R. Martin is no fan of religion, but it would have been nice to have some diversity on the show rather than everyone who is religious being a raving lunatic who sets people on fire or cudgels them. The transformation felt a bit clumsy to me.
This beating takes place after Cersei clears out the befuddled Mace Tyrell. To be fair, he seems like the sort of guy who'd be befuddled if you asked him in which cardinal direction the sun rose.The crown is once again behind on its debts and quickly falling under the sway of house Tyrell as it had previously been under the thumb of the Lannister's.
Up North the saga of Jon Snow continues to grow in complexity. We find him seated at a table filling out paperwork to obtain new recruits. And, perhaps critically, he signs the note asking the Bolton's for men as well. This seems critical because it was Ned and Rob's inability to compromise that lead to their demise. Jon is the first of the Stark lineage to retain some honor while growing. Speaking of honor, he's paid a visit by Melisandre. Who, to her and the show's credit, has become a believable and viable part of Westeros when she seemed out of place at first. And just as I was watching the light shine through on her face and Jon's face, I thought to myself, these are two pretty damn beautiful people, sure enough she was naked seconds later. And though Jon held himself back, perhaps the critical point is why Melisandre wants him at all? She has never shown an interest in sex for pleasure, rather, she's more into leeches and birthing shadows, the latter of which she hints at with Jon, who's uncertain lineage is almost certainly more than just a bastard of Ned Stark's from a tavern wench. The critical question, and one which I don't have the answer to, is where and when Jon will ride south to Winterfell? and I suppose it's also an open question as to whether he does at all, or whether his glory will come from defending the wall from ice zombies.
The resurrection of Stannis continued north of the wall as well during a key scene with his daughter. For all his whinging about being the one true king, it's only in recent episodes that Stannis has started to round into a recognizable character, and by that I mean both good and bad, deeply flawed and honorable. His speech to his daughter was probably the sweetest moment we've seen on the show thus far as he clearly blamed himself for her acquisition of grey scale, and moved heaven and earth to save her. This version of Stannis is one who is believable as the heir to the Iron Throne, and I don't think it would hurt the show to continue to include such viable human moments amidst the guts and glory of taking kingdoms with fire breathing dragons.
At Winterfell, Lord Baelisch is off to greener pastures leaving Sansa in the capable hands and whips of Ramsey Bolton. Its' only a matter of episodes until we're all watching the Fifty Shades of Grey that we didn't get in theater. However, before leaving Petyr relates the story of Rhaegar and Sansa's aunt Lyanna, a beautiful woman who's abduction and rape lead to the rebellion. This episode is rich with Rhaegar, and his history. Meanwhile, Baelisch confidently tells Sansa that either the Bolton's will die at Stannis' hands or at her own. And though he's confident in her, I'm not exactly sure that she's going to escape without a wound or two during this transition. She does say, "I suppose the next time I see you I'll be a married woman," perhaps hoping to elicit something from Lord Baelisch. However, he seems unfazed and kisses her weirdly on the lips before saying he wants to move away from where the dead can hear him. Lady Stoneheart?
We end with Sir Barrisan, the man who has seen it all in Westeros. In season one Jaime described him as a painter who's only color was red. He's relating stories to Dany, and you have the feeling that he's happy at the end of his life to have settled into the benevolent grandfather role, relaying stories of singing on the streets with Rhaegar, or drinking in the taverns. He's as close to a living historian as we have on the show. A man who has been through the events and histories that we all get secondhand. He says, Rhaegar never liked killing; he liked singing." Sadly, this reminder of Sir Barrisan turns out to be a red herring, one which I caught and said audibly, "don't kill an old man."
This happens because the Sons of the Harpy, wearing some great pharoh masks set upon the unsullied in the streets, where the unsullied fight like some extras from a History Channel special rather than war machines. It's pretty much a 50-50 fight, which is perhaps indicative of street fighting, but it also casts some shade on their ability to fight. As such, both Grey Worm and Sir Barrisan are lying in the street around a pile of bodies, presumably dead, presumably the cause of a great change in Mereen. Plot wise, a change for Dany is needed, but it feels sad to give up Sir Barrisan when we were just being reminded of how likeable he was, which isn't something that can be said of many people in Westeros.
Of course, none of this would have happened if skeezy Dario Naharis, the original actor had remained on the show. He's have been in the whorehouse and out on the street in no time flat, and remember that he, Sir Jorah and Grey Worm took out a troop of roughly 50 guys like they were 1990 Ninja Turtles reincarnated. One can only assume that the knew Dario was too busy writing poetry while nude in the moonlight to help patrol the streets. And for that small decision, a great man died.
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