The stories I tell to Sadie: Princess Pee

S: Tell me a story about Princess Pee.

(Somehow she's gotten the idea that the story of the princess and the pea is actually a story about a princess named princess pee. Naturally, her raison d'etre for existing in a story is to find a place to pee. Thus, most stories involving Princess Pee are either ended or occasionally interrupted by the strong need to find a place to relieve herself. I've done nothing to disabuse her of this notion because it's funny, which I believe is a morally defensible stance to have).
M: One day Princess Pea was waiting in her castle by the sea, and she was waiting--

S: Tell me a story about Princess Pea and Sadie.


M: Okay.(Settles into pillows)

Princess Pea and Sadie lived in a castle by the sea. It was a big castle and it was right by the sea. Princess Pea--

S: And Sadie.

M: Yes. Princess Pee and Sadie lived in the castle together. And the castle was by the sea. And they spent most of their time having tea, or talking, passing the time. Princess Pee would stand at the window and look out over the sea. She was waiting for a ship to come in. And a long time passed, and Princess Pee and Sadie went from being a very young girl to a middle aged woman. And finally, an old woman. And Princess Pee waited and waited looking out the castle window at the sea. And when she was very old the ship finally came into port. She could see its large sails billowing on the horizon, which is just another way of saying kind of waving in the wind like a kite or that silly dancing guy who is outside of a used car place. Anyhow, the ship was way out over the water and it was dazzling, and Princess Pea went down the stairs as fast as her old legs could carry her.

S: And Sadie.

M: Yes, and Sadie. And they both rushed down to meet the ship, and they were greeted by twenty men who took them aboard, and they sailed across the ocean to a land very far away, and they were very happy.

S: And they went pee.

M: Yes, and they found a place to go pee.