On Sleeping

Is teething really that bad? I mean, it's just kind of like a slow dental surgery isn't it? Everyone hates the dentist. But what if the dentist took a few months to complete your work. I bet it wouldn't hurt all that bad. A budding environmentalist once told me that the solution to pollution is dilution before chucking his beer bottle into the ocean. I'm not certain that his theory is correct, but at the very least it's catchy. I also have to admit that there is something attractive about throwing a beer bottle in the ocean. And if you're the sort person who's thinking right now, no, you idiot, there is nothing attractive about littering, then you'll just never understand. Please feel free to add some dirty hippie overtones to the preceding passage.

http://youtu.be/roREnVhd_og

I blame Mad Men for not letting me link the video above where Don finishes the picnic by shaking out the blanket with all the trash still on it onto the grass and then getting into the car. Those were the days. I mean, the world had plenty of space back then, so everyone had room to litter. Before I'm dead and gone we'll probably have to fire our trash off into space or drop it into craters on the moon, unless the Soviets beat us there first. Am I right?

The point is that lil s occasionally needs Tylenol as I think I've made abundantly clear. Secretly I think she's just feigning pain and then using the pain killers as a mixer with breast milk, which is known to create a sensation not unlike being on LSD. I might have made that up.

I want to embed at least one Mad Men video, so now I'm going to put this great montage of Betty Draper parenting because she is an awesome role model for moms across the nation. I think it's fair to say that she wanted a Milford Man where children learn to be never seen or heard.




S was relating to me that when a child has a lovie, usually a blanket or stuffed animal, a thing that they grow attached to when sleeping or to give them comfort, some article claimed that the child was thinking of it as their parent. I pointed out that the theory was amazing because what parent wouldn't eat that idea up. What? That blanket my child lovingly clutches at night is actually me. They love me so much that they can't sleep without knowing I'm near? You're telling me my child loves me. Yeah, so this theory pretty much makes a parent feel like they are the world's best, which just goes to show you that having a good theory isn't necessary, you just have to have a theory that makes people feel good or reinforces what they already thought. I have a theory that all of my readers are incredibly intelligent and engaged individuals who are also pretty fun to talk to at a cocktail party. I challenge you to refute my theory. You can't. It's undeniable. You're charming and smart. See how that works. Well.