Let's earn an MFA: A rough draft considered

I'm doing some thinking about the rough draft I constructed the other day.  Sadly, writing mostly consists in rewriting, which is why cranking out, in about forty minutes time, a story about an existentially troubled dinosaur isn't actually Writing. It's merely, writing. The hard part is turning writing into Writing. I'm not sure I ever figured it out. However, I did get pay for a degree on the subject, so I might as well put it to use. In that vein, let's run a grad school analysis on the piece about a dinosaur stranded on Mars trying to figure out why he's still alive. Class in session: 

Student 1: I liked it. I don't know that I'd change a thing. Just, keep writing, you know. 

S2: I found the portion where the voice is speaking to be slightly derivative. I mean, it kind of works, but it felt familiar in a way that I couldn't quite put my finger on. I'm just not sure that having a crazy voice is helping the story at all. 

S3: I felt right at home in the world, which is surprising since it was a dinosaur on Mars. I'm not quite sure how you pulled it off, but good job. 

S4: I didn't really get the part about the dinosaur eating rocks. It just doesn't work for me. You can't eat rocks. Maybe the author should do some more research about things that actually grow on Mars in order to come up with something a bit more believable. 

S5: (Tells writer before class that they didn't have chance to read story due to emergency/sad break up with sig. other, writer expresses sorrow at break up and understanding at failure to read piece) In class: 

S5: I enjoyed the narrator's duality and thought there were some interesting things to build on. I'm not sure that it's all working in its current state. 

S6: I feel like it takes too long to become clear that the astronauts visiting Mars are from the past. Are they from the past? Is he waiting for them to arrive? I'm just not sure that as it stands the story is functioning effectively, chronologically speaking. 

S7: The whole thing is a grammatical mess. I had a hard time getting past that. 

S8: I agree with what S4 said about really inhabiting the world. I don't think I have any idea of the world that the narrator is inhabiting. I also feel like the human characters are too undifferentiated at this point. I have a radical suggestion. Take them out altogether. 

S9: I think the story is fine. It's amusing or whatever. I just wonder what the author is intending writing a piece about a dinosaur stranded on Mars? I mean, this country is currently involved in a war and has been for over ten years. I mean, we have issues with so many things, guns, marriages etc. What's the point in writing a funny story about a dinosaur? None as far as I can see. 

S10: I had some issues with the diction. I feel like the dinosaur wouldn't have been that eloquent, or maybe he would have used particular words different. I'm trying to find out what makes this specific story, or dinosaur or whatever, one that needs to be heard from or told. I feel like the author needs to decide and figure out how to make it unique. 

S11: I liked the part with the voice, which I know some others disagreed with. I also liked the part with the visiting astronauts, but something else was missing, and I can't quite put my finger on it. Maybe the ending was rushed. Or was it earned? I don't know. It's tough to figure it out exactly. I guess I'd suggest taking out the last paragraph and seeing what that did to the story. Or adding in much more dialogue from the astronauts and just seeing what developed. That's where the heat in the story is for me. 

S12: I want to see more. Just more. I don't think it's working right now, but I'm not sure that it can't work. I think you need to write your way to the actual story. It might not be anything that you've got on the page right now, but I can see that something could develop. 

Teacher: Have any of you read Goethe? Here, let me read a passage: (reads passage). That is writing! What are we all doing here anyway? 

Writer: Thank you for all of your comments. I'm aware that the story has some holes, and I'm just glad I'll have the chance to look at it now with fresh lenses. (Goes home confused and in debt).