Why the Internet hated the Oscars

The internet was offended by the Oscars. If you watched them, I kind of did, and you weren't offended than there is something wrong with you. The internet has spoken. My wife tells me that I'm not particularly easily offended and perhaps that's why my reaction to the Oscars was, that was fine. Incidentally, I missed the whole opening montage, which apparently set a tone for the way in which everything was seen from that point forward. Missing that particular opening, dare I say it, it didn't seem that awful. I realize that just means that I'm probably a nineteen fifties sexist who belongs on Mad Men, but I just can't muster up the sort of vitriol that I've seen other places.

Perhaps missing the beginning of the show, and the end of the show, and talking through much of the rest of the show doesn't make me the most apt critic. However, I'm one of those filthy people who roundly enjoyed the first three seasons of Family Guy's everyone is going to get taken down style of humor. I didn't watch the new episodes, finding them occasionally funny, though often over the top and more cruel than funny. However, it's strange that we have this dichotomy of young people who pretty much loved a show like Family Guy, but who are also, if polls are to be believed way more in favor of a more liberal cultural attitude. How can these two pieces of information fit together? Is it possible that humor serves some sort of function in loosening up our stiff upper lips, crossing lines that we would otherwise be afraid to cross? Listen, some of the jokes last night just weren't all that funny. However, not being all that funny, or swinging and missing is quite a bit different than being some sort of misogynistic assault on womanhood and sexuality. Perhaps this is what comes of already being familiar with Seth's humor. It didn't particularly trouble me. I am deeply troubled by the shooting at Newtown, by stories, particularly in foreign countries but here as well, of women and children being physically or sexually abused. These things are upsetting and now that I have children of my own, I find them deeply disturbing in a visceral sort of way. I guess I just can't muster up that same sort of rage at a failed attempt at humor, nor do I look to Seth MacFarlane as a cultural icon of what America currently thinks about race, sexuality, religion etc. If I did, then I might be deeply depressed.

The other criticism that I've seen is that the Oscars are so self important, a celebration of the corrupt and debased Hollywood. I tend to think Tarantino is as overrated as it gets, but I find it sort of confusing that we simultaneously lambaste the Oscars for making off color jokes and then lambaste them again for taking themselves so seriously. Apparently, your average american cultural critic wants it both ways. Or maybe they just want Hollywood to get together for an evening and laugh at themselves. While that's a delightful way of making friends, wouldn't the whole show then be guilty of the sort of smarminess that pissed everyone off so much in Seth McFarlane? I mean, this is a monster that we've created. We all go and see the films, talk about the films, think about the films, spend a hell of a lot of money on films, and then we expect them to get together and do a spoof of themselves? That is foolish.

Why is it unfair for people who make movies to take themselves seriously. Yes, the whole evening is awkward and staged, its' somewhere between a bad Broadway show and a bad episode of late night television. I won't defend the staging of the event. However, when they talk about Hollywood taking itself too seriously, I get irritated. Is it possible that the best actors and movies are pieces of art that are meant to be taken seriously? Is it possible that getting together to honor one another for real achievements like Daniel Day Lewis' performance in Lincoln is legitimate. Go to almost any work meeting in American and you'll find a bunch of people taking seriously what other people from the outside would consider trivial. The difference is that it's not televised. However, it's televised because we watch it. It's no accident perpetrated on us or anything. I'm probably biased because I dabble in writing, but I'm wiling to forgive people for taking art seriously for an evening.

The third item, and one that I keep waiting for the Internet to tell me about is the love of Jennifer Lawrence that is burgeoning over right now. I have some female friends who have written wonderful essays about the body, Girls, etc. I just want someone to explain the phenomenon to me. What is it about a girl who talks about farting, falls on the stage and says inappropriate things that is tugging at everyone's heart strings? Don't get me wrong, I like her too, but I'm curious what else is going on. Tell me Internet. My own take is that she's extremely refreshing and unreserved and that's all very charming. However, I think that she's also young, 22, and I wonder what people would think of an older actress who behaved in the same manner. That's right Internet, I'm calling ageism on this one. I just think that people learn to be a bit more guarded as they get older, (I can only presume that's why Nicole Kidman and some of the other older actresses had frozen faces....wait, I'm being told that's Botox. That's sexist Internet. Stop it.) and I wonder what she'll be like in fifteen years, maybe we won't care because she's not young. The takeaway from all this is my rage at the Oscars ageism...except that lady who is apparently 76 who sang the Bond song. She made aging look awesome.

Also this Michael Haneke (director of Amour) quote:

"Tonight I shall place this trinket atop my mantel, and I will sit and look at it for a while. But one day I will be nothing but a pile of dust and bone in a comfortable chair, watched over by an unblinking, tarnished gilded sentinel. Thank you."

Preach.