Breaking Bad episode 1 recap. I'm a little behind.

Breaking Bad

It’s nice to finally be invited to the party. Honestly, I never intended to watch Breaking Bad. However, I can’t go to Grantland, or listen to music on Spotify without being inundated with images of a glowering Walter White. Even my Stephen Colbert video this week included Bryan Cranston. So, I figured it was time to start watching.

The strange thing about starting Breaking Bad now is that I know the trajectory. I know that he becomes evil. Of course, we also know when we start a Dickens novel that things are going to work out, even if it takes some chicanery to get there. So, I suppose it isn’t ruined that much.

What struck me about the first episode, (and I realize that to write about a show after watching one episode is hubristic, akin to reading three chapters of Infinite Jest and making pronouncements about the novel. This is the age of serialization, when we understand that television shows have longs arcs. There was a time when each episode was supposed to be self-contained and larger structures were near obsolete) is the dark side of Walter White bubbling to the surface immediately. I read a piece by Chuck Klosterman asserting that the first episode made you have to root for Walter White. I don’t know if I buy that.

What troubles me about Walter, right off the bat, is the thin line that he crosses almost immediately into being bad. The awakening that he describes after receiving new of the inoperable lung cancer is precisely the sort of awakening that most of the major religions shoot for. And yet, the purpose of spiritual practice, one way or another, is generally to become a better or more peaceful member of society. The “awakening” that occurs in Walter is precisely the sort of thing that, full admission here, I hope never happens to me. I’d be lying if I said I haven’t had moments where I wanted to assault someone in public for being an asshole. Not the sort of thing with nuance, accidentally being cut off or something, but someone behaving or saying things that are patently unacceptable for general human conduct. Now, we’ve agreed as a society that these sorts of slights or grievances are best left alone, or, if very bad, settled in a court of law. And yet, I found my heart pounding with perverse joy as Walt beat up the random teen in the store. Who hasn’t wanted to do that? How refreshing! How troubling.

The same thing applies to Walt keeping the secret of his cancer and meth cooking from his wife. Right off the bat we see a tacit admission on his part that his actions are wrong and must be hidden. And yet, who doesn’t want to hide the worst or less desirable parts of themselves? We do it on a daily basis, all be it, I hope, to a lesser degree.

I suppose what I’m getting at is that this show seems to affirm the darker parts of our nature. I’ve long claimed in numerous discussions with S that art has no greater responsibility than to be true to the story. Happy endings, sad endings, are pretty much immaterial. It’s whether they honor the material. And yet, as I listen to proclamation after proclamation of BB being the greatest show ever, I’m starting to wonder if that’s true.

I’m willing to consider the fact that a large portion of the population is just made up of people who are better than I am—more grounded, fun loving, able to separate a good television show from the moral choices that happen day to day. And, if that’s the case, perhaps BB is the best drama ever. If I’m not the only one who harbors a secret self who wishes ill to every person who cuts him off and wants to haul off and punch people on the sidewalk, well then, I’m not quite sure what it would mean if BB is indeed the best drama ever. I suppose all I’m saying here is that one episode in, my sincere hope is that the answer is no.