When the world was flat

We spend our mornings sipping coffee and yelling at the children to mind themselves because the world is flat. "If you fall off that edge," we say, before trailing off ominously. We do not know what lies on the other side of the edge of the world. Some among us speculate that the fall isn't the same for everyone. Essentially, some people fall off the edge of the world and head straight down to the bowels of hell where they burn and roast and continue doing the work of Satan, while others fall straight into the burning heart of God.

I, being a mother, do not think it is possible for a child to fall off the edge of the earth into the burning heart of God because in order to fall off the edge of the world that child would have not been minding his mother, who, in this earthly realm, is about as close to a divine representative as he or she is going to get.

Mind you, this is long before the people arrived in ships with long white sails, disembarked, gave us some shiny jewels in return for all of our food before departing and telling us that the world was not flat. Then we stopped warning the children about where they should play and society, as you can probably guess, started to go to hell in a hand basket. You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make him drink.