Narrative is an interesting thing. I don't mean the kind of stories we're read as children, rather, I mean the stories we tell ourselves. These stories, lies mostly, are the fabric that hold us together. For instance, I'm about to tell you a story about the woman that I married. She was dating someone else at the time, which means, narratively speaking that he must have been a dud. Which, in all honesty is precisely what I believed at the time. His least likable quality, if I'm being honest now, is that he wasn't me. But at the time I was certain that he wasn't right for Ellen because I was interested in Ellen.
What if I told you that she probably should have stayed with him instead? I'm not dracula, nor do I tie girls up like some fantasy of a bored house wife. I'm just not that good of a person, a common enough affliction, I'll grant you, but one that's hard to see when you're young. When you're young it's easy to let the narrative of your life supersede reality, to assume everyone else is an extra in a play that you're starring in.
I live up north now, working in a small public library, shelving books and helping homeless people check their e-mail. It gives me time to reflect. Time to admire the small buds that appear in April on the limbs of the deciduous trees.
I met her when I was young and here were the first five things I liked about her
1) She was reading a book. Even in the early aughts most people had given up on reading books. And there she was, sitting on a green couch in the lounge at my college reading an actual book.
2) She had green eyes. One of my favorite songs ever is this song by Joe Purdy called, Balcony Green Eyes. I can't remember now if I heard the song before or after I met her, but it was relevant either way.
3) The way that her brow did this funny thing, a slight wrinkle or something, a depression when she was listening intently. When this appeared it was like you were the only person in the world.
4) She was taken. This one I didn't really realize at the time. But I can see with the benefit of time that I was looking for a challenge, which was batshit crazy, since I'd barely dated anyone back then, but you're crazy when you're young.
5) The way that she'd look at point slightly beyond my right shoulder when she was talking about something abstract. She'd start talking about God, or what it might be like to travel around on a skiff in Greece, and her eyes would sort of gloss over, and she'd gaze just beyond me, like the next world was actually graspable.
6) But this one was kind of a given. She was pretty.
What if I told you that she probably should have stayed with him instead? I'm not dracula, nor do I tie girls up like some fantasy of a bored house wife. I'm just not that good of a person, a common enough affliction, I'll grant you, but one that's hard to see when you're young. When you're young it's easy to let the narrative of your life supersede reality, to assume everyone else is an extra in a play that you're starring in.
I live up north now, working in a small public library, shelving books and helping homeless people check their e-mail. It gives me time to reflect. Time to admire the small buds that appear in April on the limbs of the deciduous trees.
I met her when I was young and here were the first five things I liked about her
1) She was reading a book. Even in the early aughts most people had given up on reading books. And there she was, sitting on a green couch in the lounge at my college reading an actual book.
2) She had green eyes. One of my favorite songs ever is this song by Joe Purdy called, Balcony Green Eyes. I can't remember now if I heard the song before or after I met her, but it was relevant either way.
3) The way that her brow did this funny thing, a slight wrinkle or something, a depression when she was listening intently. When this appeared it was like you were the only person in the world.
4) She was taken. This one I didn't really realize at the time. But I can see with the benefit of time that I was looking for a challenge, which was batshit crazy, since I'd barely dated anyone back then, but you're crazy when you're young.
5) The way that she'd look at point slightly beyond my right shoulder when she was talking about something abstract. She'd start talking about God, or what it might be like to travel around on a skiff in Greece, and her eyes would sort of gloss over, and she'd gaze just beyond me, like the next world was actually graspable.
6) But this one was kind of a given. She was pretty.
that sure looks like Amanda seyfried??
ReplyDeletethe thrill of the hunt..