I wanted to write today. I've no earthly clue what you wanted to do today, but I'm guessing that it wasn't write. What was it? Write it in the comments section? What was it that you wanted to do today? This evening, in the glaring light of our basement my mom said that she'd always wanted to be a writer. Naturally the question came to me. I'd spent the evening drinking Prosecco, sampling whiskey, and passing on beer. I was giving most questions either the answer of: spend time with my mother, life is ephemeral and meaningless, or I want to be on a space shuttle to Mars. This one I chose to answer truthfully after some argument about the semantics of be. What did you want to be? I think I talked about the proto-capitalist model of being identified with career as though the two were synonymous. Eventually, I came around though, mostly to spite people by actually answering a question honestly, "What did you want to be at 20?" my brother asked. I took a sip of beer, Purple Haze, not as an affectation in a story but as an affectation of life, "I don't know what I wanted to be at twenty," I answered truthfully, "Just like now."

There are uncomfortable kinds of truths and uncomfortable kinds of wisdom. It'd be convenient if we all saw the world through the same lens. We don't though, and so playing a game can sometimes become yet another way of seeing the world from a different perspective. I don't want to be anything other than me, which is both the song lyric of  Gavin DeGraw song, who is not a noted song writer, and a bit of ugly truth. I've no desire to be or to become. Forget becoming.  I am who I am.