Year 4

The best part about this getting older project is the variety of responses that it brings from other people. Unfortunately, they sort of fall into certain categories based on the age of the person that I'm talking to.

At or nearing the age of 30: These folks like to say things like,"Thirty is the new twenty. You'll be happier in your thirties because you've put all the craziness of your twenties behind you. Think of all the vacations you'll be able to take. I mean, you really know who you are in your thirties. It's a great time to really just be yourself and do all those things that you weren't smart enough, or rich enough to do in your twenties. Quite frankly, I think your thirties are at least twice as good as your twenties.

Counterpoint: These folks seem to have a vested interest in proclaiming thirty as a great age. I'd hate to accuse them of outright bias, but it seems that it is adventitious for them to consider the dawning of thirty as some great break through. But really, I love you all. My favorite thing about talking with college students is how hopeful thy are.
M: I got an MFA in creative writing.
CS: That's great.
M: I accrued this huge debt, and I've got nothing to show for it.
CS: You've just got to follow your dreams though. No regrets.

That's the sort of optimism that I'll miss and that thirties folks are throwing my way.

People in their twenties: Firstly, read above. They seem to think that thirty isn't that old. Read, when I tell them that I'm going to be thirty I think they actually just translate it to twenty-five. They are thinking, "I wouldn't know some guy who is almost thirty? I'm a young person. This guy is probably lying." I guess I pretty much believe that to these people aging, working at the same mind numbing job day in and day out, shopping for groceries at seven o'clock et al are just imaginary things. I'm not really turning thirty, I'm just getting a bit older. It doesn't mean the same thing. It's a vague thing. Not an age that they'll ever reach themselves.

Counterpoint: Read: mind numbing work, financial decisions, grocery shopping, car insurance et al.

People who are considerably over thirty: These people have a tendency to remind me that thirty isn't all that old after all. "You're so young," they say, with a sincerity that is undeniable. Hell, thirty is young if you're pushing sixty five. Is sixty five young if you're pushing eighty? I don't know. I'm curious. These people sort of genuinely cheer me up because they honestly believe that thirty is young. They don't have to say it like my fellow thirtyites, they don't consider it some vague thing in the distance like the twenties, it's a reality, and it's young.

Counterpoint: They are probably guilty of the same backward nostalgia that I am when thinking of my twenties.
J: You look good man.
M: You should have seen me when I was twenty-five.
Who the heck says that? Am I that old? Am I already reflecting on the years past.
J: Thirty isn't that old. You're still young.
M: The mirror disagrees.

Is it just a physical change?
Answer: No. Only slightly. Turning the big 30 has a lot more to do with things left undone.

Age four. It was a solid year for me. In this year I started wearing those fancy polo shirts with the little animal on the side. I'm fairly certain it's not a Lacoste shirt, but it could be. And Lacoste is really popular in Europe and in yuppie havens. At four, I was an aspiring golfer apparently.

Positive-A lot.

Today as I was walking down the ice filled street on my 1:45 minute commute to work (it took me 2.5 to get home) I slipped a bit on the ice and almost did the splits. This action caused my knees to spread apart and for several ligaments to get stretched, ligaments that are sort of quasi-throbbing right now. And, as I was lifting weights to try and attempt to keep my youthful vigor, I noticed my right shoulder beginning to give way like my left. Why? Because I spent a good deal of yesterday snow shoveling. And, I my elbow, surgery a few years ago, started hurting again.
Yes, you're reading a laundry list of reasons why it sucks to be turning the big 30. When you fall and almost do the splits at four, you laugh. Your shoulder only hurts for a moment, at most, a day. You can wear a faux Lacoste shirt without knowing how sweet you are. You can comb your hair forward without looking like a weirdo. Four is a pretty solid age, but you're starting down the path to real childhood and away from being a toddler.

Positive-I played with light brights and an etch a sketch. You know what kicks ass? Those things. Go ahead, go out and get yourself an etch a sketch or some light brights and see what you've been missing for the past twenty four odd years.

Positive-I could eat Kraft Macaroni and Cheese every day for snack and I loved the stuff. I didn't have complex taste buds that required things like spices, or cooking acumen, I just needed some hot water, fake cheese and pasta.

Negative-Despite the smiling picture, this is the year in which I began to encounter my overwhelming shyness in social situations. I remember not playing with the other kids at the daycare. I remember, just watching them, or playing quietly with one friend.

Positive- I was four. Again, fairly light on the expectations.

Negative-Expectations. It's time to begin to socialize, become a part of the cement mixer, conform. It's time to learn those ABC's a little better and time to nail down 1-10 counting.

Positive-The world is still untethered.

To all who are aging, I love you.