After receiving my letter of complaint I felt pretty good about dealing with my neighbors except that I didn't. Listen, if I want to spend x number of dollars on a fence then I don't want to hear a damn thing about it. If you've flooded my basement on three separate occasions because you didn't clean the leaves out of your gutter I'm not particularly interested in hearing your take on my new fence, which improved your property value. And even if I didn't, it's my damn money! (This is good preparation for parenting. I'm pretty excited about saying things like, "not in my house you won't!")
The fact of the matter is, if I want to spend my money on an above ground pool and install a diving board off my roof then I damn well will. I'm not really interested in you complaining about how I do things on my property. I'm all for civic duty, and public behavior and good society and such, but I'm not too crazy about people infringing on my personal space. Sign me up for the tea party. More tax cuts for the rich!!!!! (Interestingly, the top 1 percent of our earning population currently has 23.5 percent of the wealth. In the 1970's that figure was 9 percent. I don't have enough time to bitch about this yet, but it's coming).
If I want to import a lion from the serengheti (sp) and ride him around at sunset with my shirt off in my own backyard, then I don't want to hear complaints. If my lion gets on your property then we can talk.
If I want to start breeding elephants in the yard, making wild claims about creating a second Dumbo if I can just get the right mix, I still don't want to hear complaints because it's my property.
If I want to put together a team of small ponies, fashion ice skates from pieces of old pillows and a knife set, flood the backyard, bring in a giant fan and freeze it to allow for them to play ice hockey, I don't want to hear any complaints because it's my yard.
If I want to install a bunker under the lawn, with a nice espresso machine, and conduct Italian language classes based on stereotypes from the 1950's and the Sopranos, then I don't want to hear any complaints because it's my yard.
If I want to buy a flock of parrots that can sing the national anthem in perfect harmony....
tea party, tea party, rand paul unite!!!
ReplyDeletei expect you to arm yourself in order to protect your new fence and backyard??
may i suggest 2 things for the yard..
a beautiful pair of horseshoe pits and/or
a well groomed bocci ball court
ahh, saturdays with your friends playing sports and tossing back cold ones..and fighting off
nosy neighbors!
so the biological imperative's first words
will be "not in my house"????
Smile.
ReplyDelete