Thoughts

On Hummus

Whenever I'm at a party I'm always really impressed with how good the hummus is. It's inevitably better than the hummus I have at home, and I start wondering if I can ask where they buy their hummus. After thirty minutes or so I generally realize that the hummus tastes about the same as mine. However, why is their hummus so much better right off the bat? Also, do you think this is a world wide problem, wondering about other people's hummus, or is it more of a middle class thing?

Car Mistakes

I feel like my car is often lying. I drive it to work every day with a little sign in the back window that says, "Baby on board." The baby is never on board. I'm beginning to wish that my car didn't lie about its occupants. Although, to be fair, prior to the sign, which was put there by me, my car rarely if ever lied about its occupants. I suppose that the fault then lies with me and not the computer yet again.

Wise Men

I think it's fair to say that if cable television had never been invented that I'd know how to speak a foreign language, and that I'd have parlayed that into a foreign job. Sometimes when I'm pushing papers across my desk or heaving them into a trash can at my job, I reflect on the role that broadcast television has played in my downfall. My psychiatrist, who is a friend of mine, says that I should watch Telemundo and just shut the hell up. He is a wise man.

These are the things that I know about the debt ceiling:
The debt ceiling has been raised 89 times since its inception. During Ronald Reagan's presidency the debt ceiling was raised fourteen times.

Things I Miss

As a child I took my sweet time learning how to ride a bike. I was never certain why a big wheel shouldn't suffice for my mode of transportation for the rest of my life. Two summers ago my wife and I took a bike ride through D.C., gliding through parks and faint whiffs of pine, blocks of shadow in the form of trees until we reached the end of the line. "Let's do this again soon," she said, smiling. I guess what I'm trying to tell you is that I miss my Big Wheel.

These are the things I know about math

7x7 is 49.

X and y are not quite numbers, but they could be if you put in the right equation.

Bits of grammar

In England the phrase self-deprecation is pronounced as depreciation. We could argue forever about grammar, but it's probably best to agree that the term is best viewed in light of the article from the British telegraph, ""This is high-risk seduction. It is not for everyone." Indeed.