Tuesdays with Sadie

Parenting Game: Try to get to ten points by the end of the day to earn your child's love.

7:08 A.M. Get out of bed and give her a snack before driving S to the metro to keep her happy. (+1). Anticipation. 1 Total Score: 1

7:45 A.M. Conclude breakfast with her, remembering to roll up the sleeves on her sleeper to avoid mishaps. (+1) Because Lord knows you're not the one who is good at using Shout right away to clean up messes. Total Score: 2

8:45 A.M. Throw the couch cushions on the floor for lil s to play on. (+1). Bending a rule to be a cool dad. Total Score: 3

8:52 A.M. When you realize that she isn't using them, plop down on them yourself and lounge around. (-1) General laziness. Total Score: 2

9:05 A.M. In an attempt to retrieve a ball that she has rolled under the lounge chair, move the entire chair. (+1) caring about your child's games. Score: 3

9:05 A.M. Note that moving the lounge chair has bent the outlet on the lamp into an unrecognizable shape. (-1). Score: 2.

9:15 A.M. Get her down for a nap in a solid amount of time to allow for good sleep. Don't even give her an old pacifier. (+1) General parenting acumen. Score 3

10:17 A.M. Notice right away that she has pooped in a diaper that you'd changed roughly thirty seconds earlier. Change it anyway. (+1) Not letting your child's general malfeasance cause you to punish them. Score 4

10:48 A.M. Note lil s's suspicious silence, but don't immediately react. Finally get up and notice her removing candles from a drawer and munching on bits of the was. (-1). General parenting no, no. Quiet=bad. Score 3

10:49 A.M. Tell her she'll be fine when she starts crying because you took away her candle. Even attempt to play a game. When her face balls up and cries, looking betrayed, say, "This hurts me more than it hurts you." (+1) For applying parenting maxims. Score 4


11:37 A.M. Read that Dr. Seuss book about the wonderful things Mr. Brown can do four times in a row. (+1) Cuz that shi- gets old after the first couple of reads, even if it Dr. Seuss. Score 5

12:58 P.M. Put lil s down outside while you prepare the stroller even though you know she will immediately pick up a piece of gravel and try to eat it. (-1). Score 4

12:58 P.M. Immediately realize your mistake and stand next to her outside, and say, "Throw it," miming it for her. Applaud her wimpy little throw. (+1) Admitting you are wrong. Lying about her throw. Score 5

1:00 P.M. Go for a walk and actually go upstairs to put on her sweatshirt as opposed to her coat because the day is warm. (+1). Going out of my way. Score 6

1:47 P.M. When lil s begins to break down deftly reach for a package of Graham crackers that you'd stowed away on a previous walk for just such an occasion. (+1)
Score 7

2:21 P.M. Slightly graze her head with the door at the end of a game of peek a boo. (-1). Score 6

2:22 P.M. Ignore her please for attention and say, "You're fine," while she rubs her head. (+1) for toughening her up. Score 7


3:00 Put her down for a nap after she appears tired, waiting long enough for it to be plausible. (+1) Score 8

3-3:45 Ignore all the random noise of playing coming from her room (-1) She could be learning the alphabet or something instead. Score 7

4:13 P.M. Note that she's putting her hands in the toilet, and, even though the water is clean, wash her hands in the sink anyway. (+1) General hygiene. Score 8

5:30 P.M. Wake lil s up from a nap and allow her to keep her pacifier and lovie while driving to pick up S at the metro (+1). Score 9

5:47 P.M. Despite being a bit late on leaving for work kiss both S's before leaving. (+1) General good human being type stuff. Score 10