Game Of Thrones Season 3 Episode 2

Game of Thrones Season 3 Episode 2

Well, the second episode of Game of Thrones came and went, and it was a bit akin to opening the pages of a pop up book to say hello to everyone. Hey, remember all these other people who weren’t in the first episode, let’s check in and see what’s going on with them in the dark dank woods. I think at this point it’s fair to say that either George R.R. Martin needs to kill off half the cast for the sake of the television viewers, or the HBO writers need to have a giant tournament where half the characters are killed off. I’m kidding. Slightly. I know last week that I said I wasn’t worried, but here I am, worrying. How are they going to be able to get enough time to move this many storylines along? They don’t have 1000 pages. I’m serious though, it means that the moments that we spend with characters have to do a lot of work.  We need to see their development as human beings, how the war or the events are shaping them, and we also need to see them in a sword fight or hunting with dragons or wolves or something. It’s going to be quite a task.

The highlight of the show was the coming out party for Margerery. She’s pretty much a safe bet to one day ride Geoffrey’s corpse down the throne room on her way to snatching the crown. After duping Sansa, does anyone like Sansa? It was nice to have Tyrion talk about how attractive he thought she was, but honestly, does anyone? I guess Littlefinger does, but really he’s pining after her mother. Anyhow, I can forgive the Judasing in the first season, but I can’t forgive how stupid she is. If GOT has taught any of us anything, it’s that you have to be smart. Sansa blurts out that Geoffry is a monster to the mother of Margerery and Sir Lauris, a matriarch who rivals Tyrion in sense of humor and disgust for everyone else, one of my favorite additions to the episode, which in turn allows Margerery to exploit this information by titillating Geoffrey with tales of killing things while he watches. I mean, obviously that’s going to be a huge turn on for that guy.

A fair portion of the episode focuses on Bran, who, woops, grew up a hell of a lot in the week since we’ve left him. In fact, he appears to be about four inches taller and his voice has now dropped several octaves. I suppose this is one problem with having child actors. To no one’s surprise, because Martin stole the idea from Robert Jordan, it turns out that Bran is a warg, or someone who can inhabit the bodies of animals, which, come to think of it, everyone stole this idea from The Beastmaster. (Beastmaster is amazing, we should all get together and watch it sometime, internet).  Anyhow, Bran is captured by another Warg child, who has apparently been hunting for him for a long time. I think this part was added in because the plot wasn’t complicated enough.

Who are you rooting for in GOT? It’s nihilistic attitude towards just about everything, complicates one’s rooting alliances. Yes, ultimately we’re rooting for people who aren’t flesh eating ice zombies, but who is the best among them. I’d cast my vote with Arya and Jon Snow, mainly because they don’t have armies at their back, which always makes people easier to like. But I’m willing to buy Daenerys or Rob Stark if you’re selling.

Speaking of complicated plot twists, young Theon is being held captive, by Lord only knows who, I thought he went off with his fellow countrymen, and the men are using his feet to try and drive screws into the ground, apparently not realizing that Ikea furniture is easier to put together when you don’t try and shove the bolts through human flesh. I think they might have misunderstood the picture where it encourages you to be sure and put it together with a friend. I expected the hooded person driving nails through is foot to be his sister. I was disappointed when it wasn’t, just because it would make all the people who have actually read the books rage about how miscast that actress is. I love nothing more than the television series departing from the book in order to enrage readers. Mind you, if I’d read the books I’d be saying the same thing.

We get one more heartwarming story from Caitlyn Stark, about how she prayed for the death of Jon Snow when he was a wee babe. Has anyone taken a harder fall than Lady Stark? Of course, eventually she prayed that he not die, and when her prayers were answered, she took advantage of it by calling him a bastard a few hundred times. I think by the end of the show we’re going to discover that she was the one who convinced Geoffrey to cut off her husband’s head.

We didn’t have any dragons this episode. It’s nice to save on your CGI budget every now and again. Even The Hobbit didn’t show its dragon, and they have movie money.

We spent a brief period of time with Jon Snow, admiring the wonderfully bleak scenery of Iceland. I don’t remember that anything else happened. But hey, how about that Iceland?

We took a brief peak at Rob Stark, long enough to witness him attending his grandfather’s funeral, which earns him an upbraiding from one of his bannermen. The bannermen points out that the war was lost when Rob got married. I don’t necessarily agree, but these are the sorts of folks who consider having your hand gnawed off by a wolf to be in good fun, so perhaps he’s got a point. Marriage has made Rob soft, otherwise he’d have gone all the way to the heart of the Seven Kingdoms and killed Geoffrey, or gotten killed, or whatever.

Let us not forget the brief scene of Tyrion and his lusty house maid. In which we all see Peter Dinkelage, in retrospect, suggesting that Tyrion not be so badly wounded as it means an extra hour or two in makeup on any given day. Of course, the meetings between Shea and Tyrion are shot through with the reality that his father probably will end up killing her at some point, which generally ends a successful relationship.

We also continued the adventure of Breanne, the world’s tallest female knight, gamboling through the countryside with the wise cracking Jamie Lannister. Jamie had a couple of gems, including one about the late Lord Renley. On a serious note, Jamie points out that a tinker that they meet on the King’s road could possibly give them up, and suggests to Breanne that she should kill him. She refuses, and, of course, the beggar reports them to the authorities. If any lesson is to be learned from GOT it’s that you can’t be nice. You must be ruthless, and kill local tinkers, refuse to get married, and have one’s hand gnawed on by a wolf. The morality of the show continues to be at odds with a traditional hero’s journey, as characters who constantly make the “true” choice are often punished if it isn’t the right one. It’s a bit hopeless. However, I’m sure they can all agree that anything is better than being eaten by an ice zombie. Or at least let’s hope so.