Game of Thrones Season 3 Episode 4: Is that a coffee table or a dungeon?

I was going to write about the problem with sex on game of thrones, how trivial the show makes it, framed entirely as a contract between prostitutes and lusty men or taboo, between brothers and sisters. I believe I read a review that called the treatment of sex, adolescent. I don't know why I'm going on so long though, because you can't really complain about the treatment of sex or its ungracefulness handling in an episode with dragons. You have to talk about the dragons. I mean, these guys are blowing their whole CGI budget. It would be a disservice not to mention them.

That's not where the episode starts though. It begins with Jamie Lannister riding through the woods with his right hanging from his cloak. He just needs someone with a good sewing needle. Barring that, he starts to slide into depression and is moderately saved by Briane reminding him to stop acting like a woman. Sexist. Briane cites the moment that Jamie interceded to save her, and exhorts him to seek revenge. And, as the odd saga of Jamie Lannister goes on, it's hard not to want him to get some revenge. Here is the guy who shoved Bran out a window and slaughtered the men of House Stark in the streets. And yet, perhaps because he's clever, and we'd all like to perceive ourselves as clever, or perhaps because he's grown such an awesome playoff beard for the home stretch I find myself rooting for him. It might just be that the stakes are rather low for good characters on GOT. The good ones, well, nominally good ones like Sansa Stark seem to have their heads stuffed by feathers as opposed to brains.

Watching this episode felt like reading one of those scare articles in The Atlantic, women are taking over the world. Except, in GOT, they kind of are. Margerery spend the better part of the episode gently guiding Geoffrey from being a despicable monster, into a despicable monster who gets waved at by crowds of people. She then neatly slides towards Sansa Stark, setting her family up as the natural successors if Robb Stark is stopped. If there is a person winning at the GOT in this season, it is Margery and her electric mother, who is quickly rivaling Tyrion and Jamie as being possessed of the brightest wit on the show.

Meanwhile, dragons. Even though I knew that Daenrys spoke Valyrian, she had too, it would have been silly if she couldn't. It was still a happy surprise to see her speak back to the man who has been calling her a b9tch for two episodes and then have him burned to a crisp, followed by a good old city sacking by her new army. Of course, as her army of ass kicking soldiers and dragons marches out of the city gates I've really no earthly clue how close they are to the Seven Kingdoms. I'm hoping that they are still a bit away, because I'm not quite sure who will stand up to them. It's been quite a ride for Daenyrs from the first season, and this episode felt like a culmination, a crowning of sorts. And I don't know if they meant it to feel this way or not but her march and victory now seem inevitable, barring some sort of scurvy outbreak as they cross the Narrow Sea. Buy limes, you'll thank me later.

The saga of Theon also took a nasty and Kafka esque turn, as the man who saved him turned out to be taking him back to the torture chamber. I'm not sure what is going on here. And it seems clear to me that Theon is going to have to play a more major role in the narrative to come, or why go to all the trouble of telling this bizarre story when much more interesting action is taking place, or not taking place, because his story is being given screen time. Either that or these guys really do love, Kafka, which, who doesn't? I should also point out that we did get one nice emotional moment of Theon admitting that his father died at King's Landing. That's all we wanted you to say, buddy. Now just let me put this railroad tie into your foot...

Am I the only one who misses any episode when we can't watch Jon Snow walk about with his amazing flowing hair? I mean, I can miss Rob and Talisa for an episode, but I can't remember the last time we didn't get to see that hair. Disappointing. I understand that he's sort of in a weird place, does he or does he not betray the Night's Watch, though that just got a lot less complicated, and he's in the presence of giants, which, small CGI budget, so, yeah, less flowing hair than we'd all like.

The Night's Watch stages a bit of a rebellion that has been in the offing for weeks. It's unclear why everyone is deferential to Crostor. He does sleep with all of his daughters, sacrifices the boys, and spends the rest of the time complaining that twenty armed men are all pigs. He seems like he should have had a sword sticking out of him about five episodes ago. And yet, the Lord Commander defends him, and it better come out that he had some good reason or I'm kind of on the side of the guys who had a stab off. Interestingly, I think GOT did a nice job of having the one traitor stand out as a mean SOB right from the start in Season one. It's not really a surprise that he stabs Mormont in the back, nor will it be a surprise when Jon Snow uses his hair to whip him into submission a few episodes from now.

The journey of Arya Stark continues, where the rabble carries her and the blacksmith and the Hound into a cave for questioning. During this conversation we learn that the ragtag group supports the red ladies Lord of Light. She's been mercifully absent for much of the season, and I wasn't happy to hear more about the Lord of Light. It appears we'll be reaching the end of the Hound's run on the show as he's been selected to fight the leader or the troupe, and I'll be sad to see him go. I think that he is one of the more interesting characters on the show, with a good backstory, a shi- time in make up every day and a crazed half brother.

We also hear the tale of Lord Varus' unfortunate incident and subsequently discover that he's been keeping the man who did it to him captive for a number of years, which, yeah, you do your thing. There is nothing creepier than keeping some random person captive for years and years. Except, like, how often does he feed him. Does he have to get someone to help when he goes out of town on king's business? Can he afford the extra food cost? I think you'd get tired of keeping someone captive in your coffee table. At least I would, and I hardly think they'd appreciate it if you let them out to enjoy the vacation with you.

While this episode lacked the damn near majestic pacing of episode three, the continued character development was stronger. The roles of Margerery, her mother, and Daenyrs are more defined, and we get to see the continued growth of Jamie. It's probably the second strongest episode of the season thus far, plus, dragons burning things.