Birth dates

It's probably time to discuss possible due dates. Thanks to the moderns of medical science people can now schedule a C section to give their newborn child the perfect due date. However, due to pressure, probably from ridiculous liberals and no good dirty hippies, women now feel that they should have their baby "naturally." Thus, we're left trying to guess at the perfect due date rather than accepting that we live in the greatest country that's existed since whatever Rome was devolved, likely due to an inability to tax their large populous effectively, tax cut people beware, the people from Gaul are likely to rise up if we don't keep this big ship called the federal government running. I demand chariot races, and charts!

October 31:
Score 5

Why? You get to tell your child that everyone dresses up for their birthday every year and that they are incredibly special.

Negative: Our child will eventually become old enough to know that it's not actually an advantage to have a birthday shared with every other little Joe and Kathy on the street.

Additional negative: 21st birthday. Halloween + drinking age=possible disaster even with the best of parents.

Additional Negative: She'll be unlikely to have everyone over for a sleep over on her birthday because everyone will just want to go home and eat a sack full of candy or razor blades or whatever moms warn their kids against in apples these days.

Additional Positive: Perhaps saving a bit of money on her birthday will allow mommy and daddy to save some cash and go on an adult vacation to Europe or South America or something.

November 2

Score: 9

Why? Because this would allow mother and daughter to share the same birthday.

Positive: This would finally put an end to those complaints from S (well at least one of them) about how not enough was being done on her birthday, and she damn well doesn't understand why men think birthdays aren't such a big deal when they are. And what did you plan? Nothing? Really?

Positive: I only have to remember one birthday for my two girls. This will allow me to save at least one additional part of my brain to remember some obscure sports fact like that Anthony Thompson won the Doak Walker award while playing running back at the University of Indiana.

Possible negative: Two girls complaining at double the volume about the inadequacy of the plans for their birthday, which they can't really be held responsible for, it being their birthday and all.

November 12

Score 8

Why? Because it's the due date

Positive: It's a Friday. This will allow me to maximize the sick days that I can take from my job.

Additional positive: An on time arrival bodes well for my future as it's already a pain in the as- to get S out of the door on time. Perhaps I'll have a little timely helper!

Positive: I don't give a damn what anyone says, that's the day I picked in the family pool. Do we win a live turkey to cook at Thanksgiving or what? I'm unclear on the rules.

Negative: In order for her to be a famous artist she should do something outside the norm, being born when you are expected does not help her in this regard.

November 19

Score: 4

Why? Because S can't put her socks on anymore.

Positive/Negative: She'll finally be in the world but probably have a really weird shaped head from being overly large upon exit.

Negative: I don't know if I can take one more week of S pulling up her shirt and telling me to look at how big her belly is. Yes, I know, I've seen it ever day for the last nine months thank you very much.

Negative: This sort of late behavior is uncharacteristic of a Bertaina and does not bode well for future trips anywhere.

Positive: She won't be a small baby by that point. I'm afraid of little babies. Please be at least seven pounds.