Post Number 365!!!! Four Days

We're almost there Ingrid.



Filling a mug that gets way too hot and always burns your hand way too full of apple cider.

M: I know this is a bad idea. (Closes the microwave door)
S: You do realize we’re going to have a child any day now?
M: Give me some credit. I know this isn’t going to turn out well.
S: I’m not sure that I should give you credit for that.
(Minutes later)
M: Crap, I spilled it all over the stove. I kind of saw that one coming.
S: You’re going to make a good day, but you’re still going to be yourself aren’t you.
M: Probably.

For the more visually inclined a conversation about electrocution and toasters:




And, as we bear down on the due date. Listen, I'm taking these doctors at their word. I assume that they didn't just create this due date out of thin air. If my child is not born on the due date I am going to be pissed. I think that's reasonable. I mean, are you telling me we can walk on the moon, maybe?, but we can't predict what day a child is going to born? That's why I'm calling an astrologist to help us predict a more accurate day. I think modern medical science really got off track when it went away from palm reading.

Tonight, in honor of our soon to be baby, we watched a movie called babies, that was about babies. As it turns out children do just fun eating rocks. The prospect of raising the lil gal on a strict diet of dirt and rocks has me recalculating that whole, you'll spend a million dollars raising a child from age 5-9 or whatever the heck it is now. Guess what, crazy statistic, we're feeding this child rocks. I don't know how much of a savings it will be since I'm not sure how much rocks cost to buy in bulk.

Honestly, the main thing you learn from watching this movie is that kids need constant stimulation and baby yoga and lots of intricate toys to turn out well-adjusted and happy. Minus all of these amenities children are pretty much miserable and asking if they can get a Nintendo, and your'e thinking, really? I had an NES when I was like seven and look at me now? Okay, it's cute, I said it. Enough already.

M: Is there anything we can do that doesn't involve you talking about how much your belly itches and then asking me to look at your feet?

S: Is that not fun for you?

M: The luster is starting to wear off.

So yeah, one day closer to welcoming this little girl into the welcoming arms of the world. Well, the world.