Changing the world one blog at a time

M: Her first poop of the day was solid. And yes, this is what parenthood has done to the level of our e-mail discourse.

M: (kicks her)
S: Why are you kicking me while I'm down?
 M: I was helping you.
 S: You were helping me by kicking me while I was on the ground.
M: It's really a matter of interpretation isn't it? 

Every time we're trying to learn to count it always goes: one, two, shree, four, six. I don't know why I can't convince the child that five exists. Maybe I'll hid five's existence from my child, and then write a book about how it changes one's perception of the world if they don't know that the number exists. Let me know if you'd buy it. If enough people respond I'll consider making the change. I'm also willing to hide the existence of Burma, submarines and dinosaurs bones for the right price.

So, this blog is partially about what it means to have a child, but I'd say that it's primary reason for existence is to educate people on fashion. So, let's move on to some of the summer trends that we'll be seeing.

Pants: You're going to see a lot pants this summer, mainly because a lot of jobs make people wear them even though it's often 137 degrees in places like Washington, DC. Some of these pairs of pants might be super awesome, and have things that look like a bunch of bullets all over the front of them.




If you're thinking, come on Andrew, how can you call this a fashion blog and only tell me that people will be wearing pants? Look again at those pants. Aren't they awesome? Are you too good for pants? George Washington wasn't too good for pants, and he, formed a country, refused kingship, fought for liberty, both threw the Boston Tea Party and later formed the Boston based chapter of the tea party, outlawed vampirism, and planned to build an awesome city in the middle of a swamp.



Look at that guy. He knew how to sport a pair of pants. And George Washington, like me, knew a great deal about fashion. He knew that he looked like a bad ass in full on red pants, so he didn't worry about the fact that he might be mistaken for a British sympathizer, filthy redcoats, he'd often prance around the room minus the blue coat just so everyone could appreciate how good he looked in red.

This season I see red pants, and pants with machine gun clips or whatever on them as being super popular, or maybe like, shorter type pants worn over a pair of tennis shoes that are light blue or something. I mean, mustaches are back, so I"m pretty sure that dad jeans can't help but follow right after.




The corpse of Abraham Lincoln wore 80's type jeans in the biopic film they just made about his life, "Abraham Lincoln, Vampire Hunter." A lot of people have tried to claim that it's not based on historical fact, but as we all know history is always written by the winners. I think if we look at the history of this great country through the dialectical model of our choosing it's pretty safe to say that we can not only conjure up a legitimate history for Abe Lincoln, but that we can probably follow that up by starting a new program, specifically designed for vampire studies, so that people who accidentally get PhD's in literature have one more fake topic to talk about. Okay, enough about fashion. I've got to e-mail about the consistency of stool.