13 movie romances we can learn from

 Luke Skywalker and Princess Leah

This was one of the greatest untold romances of the 20th century. What would have happened between the two of them if things had been allowed to progress? Sparks, fire? All of the above? We can learn from this romance that it’s important that you vet your choice of a soul mate to make sure that they aren’t your long lost sister. Because if they turn out to be your long lost sister, things probably aren’t going to work out.

Awkward time later. 

Noah and Allie from The Notebook

It’s hard to remember much of The Notebook as I was trying to watch it while trying to keep from drowning in the flood of tears that was pouring forth from every audience member with a heart, a soul, and properly functioning tear ducts. After I fashioned a boat from four chair legs and a couple of cushions I was able to appreciate this tale of love finding its way through even the toughest of circumstances and lasting until the end. The lesson was that when shi- gets hard, it’s probably best to just keep working even if it’s going to turn everyone around you into a blubbering mess.

Get an umbrella. And yes, the Spanish version was way better. Have you seen a telenovela? 

Bella and Edward from Twilight

Though I haven’t seen any of the Twilight movies, or read any of the books, it’s safe to say that these two are probably the greatest love story told since Romeo and Juliet, except this ends in life everlasting instead of death, a minor detail. The primary thing that I learned from this coupling is that it pays to be young, attractive. We should all strive to be young and attractive, even if we’re like 65. The other lesson is that raised stakes make for an exciting love life. Would it have been as exciting if giving in to Edward meant that she would get a mild case of herpes? Probably not, and I bet America isn’t watching that trilogy with baited breath.

So she's like an undead vampire for life now? I guess you save on health insurance. 

Dean and Cindy from Blue Valentine

Hey, who wants to be punched in the gut by life? You? Awesome. I thought you might. Let’s get together and watch Blue Valentine. You know what can occasionally be really hard? Relationships. You know what can make them even tougher? When Ryan Gosling pretends to be a balding older dude instead of the hot piece of a—that he respectfully is. This movies is so real that it hurts, and I’m  a fan of how some of the random events, the little missteps that occur can take something beautiful and turn it into ash. I guess the main thing that you learn from this movie is that it’s a great movie to recommend if you want to depress people.

Everything about this depresses me. 

George and Mary from It’s a Wonderful Life

Remember what Mary turns out like without George? She’s this terrified librarian instead of the gal who wants to dance the night away doing that swervey leg thing before falling into a pool. Later, she’s mildly upset at George for not giving her back her towel. Without George, Mary isn’t nearly as fun. I suppose there is also probably a lesson about standing by the person you love in their time of need because life, though it may sometimes seems so, is not one long and straight path. You may wake up one day and have one functioning leg, a cat who is dying of liver cancer, or a DVR that is entirely full of shows that you haven’t watched. Life is unpredictable, and once of the joys of commitment is just that, the thing itself, someone to be there.

That's right, Mary. Life is going to be zany with this guy. 

Tyler Durden and well, Tyler Durden in Fight Club

This is a beautiful relationship from the get go. Edward Norton is a guy who needs someone to cheer him up, and Brad Pitt is a man with incredible abs. That is the sort of relationship that I want to watch unfold. This is the sort of relationship where you learn that sometimes you have to punch yourself in the face to figure out what you need from your life because as introspective and full of self-knowledge and tests that tell us who we are, and who we are destined to be, life is still a bit like light coming through the shade of a windows, scattered ribbons on the floor, who’s shape you can only predict in hindsight.

The second rule should be something else because I think you already said that...Oh, I get it. 

Belle and the Best from Beauty and the Beast

This relationship is the quintessential example of how a personality is far more important than whether the person you’re dating is of the same species. Everyone has wanted to marry their dog and then thought, well, they are loyal and loving and have nice eyes, but also, they’re a dog. Beauty and the Beast teaches us the Leviticus was wrong about all those injunctions.

You are warming my heart with your cross-species love. No limits. 

Allen and Madison from Splash

The lesson that this movie teaches us, and keeps on teaching us, is that if your damsel lives in an underwater kingdom you can instantly grow gills. That’s the kind of information you can bank on for years. Also, Tom Hanks is at his best when Madison is in her worst straights. I’d say he loved her in spite of her deformity, but the real lesson is that he loved her because of it. Blond hair isn’t natural.

That's right buddy, swim into your underwater kingdom. Wait, Shark! Shark! Nah, I kid. 

Margaret Hale and John Thornton

I’m going to talk about this movie right after my heart stops palpitating from thinking about the raw masculinity of John Thornton coupled with the fire of Margaret Hale. What are you doing right now? Probably nothing. Trust me when I say it’s time to fire up your Netflix queue and watch yourself a romantic British miniseries. These two characters are about as gothically romantic as you’re going to get, with swooning, and saving, and arguments, and misunderstandings, it’s pretty much the equivalent or better of a Jane Austen miniseries. Be still my heart. But seriously, go watch it.

Sigh. 

Jacob and Hannah in Crazy, Stupid, Love

I realize now that this is the third Ryan Gosling movie that I’ve included on this list. I guess the real thing to learn from this list is that Ryan Gosling is very hot. Now, that’s a shallow thing to look at in a relationship, and not really of lasting value, but sometimes we suspend the rules because people are beautiful. Isn’t he beautiful?

Sigh. 

Baby and Johnny from Dirty Dancing

Nobody puts Baby in a corner. If you do, we’ll dance our way out of it. Baby and Johnny teach us that the only way to persevere in life and relationships is through the art of choreographed dance. Is there really any better lesson that we could be given than that? Is there? I think not. Dance children, dance!

No words. Except those. 

Nina and Lily from Black Swan

Nina and Lily each us that the only way to persevere in ballet and relationships is through the art of choreographed dance. Sometimes we have to learn a lesson more than once for it to really stick. These two have a classic relationship of understudy and lead that drives them both to be successful, and honestly, I got chills when her black wings unfurled at the end of that movie. It was beautiful.

Oh, dancing. 

And last but not least Wal-E and Eve

I’m joking. Wal-E could do way better than liking a robot who’s soul mission is to destroy. Sure, eventually the robot comes around to being kind of decent, but that’s the kind of volatile relationship that you want to stay away from or you’ll wind up laser beamed one morning.

Run, Wal-E E##ing run! 

Jessie and Celine From all the movies

They are about the best long term thing going in terms of relationships in movies. Are you done with North and South yet? Go watch Before Sunrise. Look past the tapered jeans into the soul of those two lovebirds experiencing a first spark and then watch the next two movies because life is complicated. 

Awesome. 

I love you Celine. 

Just watch this part and decide.