I work at a service desk

When you approach my desk it is okay to take out your ear buds. In fact, if you'd like, though I don't sing well, I can continue singing along to whatever you're listening to in order to not make our interaction interfere with your day. I'm even willing to accompany the singing with an interpretive dance, though I usually cap those at thirty seconds because I have roughly five go to moves including a shoulder shimmy thing and a poor glide step, some light popping can be provided if so desired. I'd encourage you to please play "I Will Always Love You," by Whitney Houston as that's a song on which my voice really shines.

I enjoy occasional eye contact. It's an old-fashioned sort of thing, but it's okay to look at the person you're interacting with. I promise not to hold your gaze for a longer period of time than is comfortable unless you are a male gorilla trying to challenge me for dominance of the library. I will even break the eye contact and go get your book or generally do library related stuff in a timely fashion. If you find it awkward to briefly glance up from your busy day know that you are still secretly loved in the special way that you can only be loved by a person who finds you annoying.

At the conclusion of our transaction it is okay to say thank you. I realize that I'm paid for what I do, but it is still a pretty decent type thing to do. A smile, even a fake one, can serve in lieu of a thank you. I also accept cash gifts, tax returns, and trained orca whales as payment. I also accept some light banter such as, "How is your night going?" and will not take the opportunity to tell you about how my cat died last week or how my aunt has a wonderful collection of rare birds. I will likely say something like, "Fine, and perhaps include an innocuous comment about the weather." This interaction will not lengthen your stay at my service desk, but will serve to pass the time in a manner that I don't hesitate to call congenial.

If, for some reason we are unable to complete the transaction that you desire, or are otherwise impinged in one way or another, it is right to assume that I'm probably doing my best to help you out. This may cease to be true if you are a royal as-, but I can't guarantee that I wouldn't provide good service even to someone I'd like to see slightly mauled by an angry sheep.

Above all know that I deeply care about you not just as a customer but as an individual human being. Okay, that might not be entirely true, however, I'm willing to fake the latter part for the nominal fee that my job pays me to be at this desk. In short, extend to me the common courtesy you'd like extended to yourself if you worked in a similar circumstance. Remember, I am a beautiful snow flake just like you! That's going on my bumper sticker.