In the year you turn seventeen you join student government and go to the senior prom. You sneak out of class to watch the NCAA tournament. You do nothing in student govt. You're not even sure what you're supposed to be doing besides messing around with your friends. You're occasionally assigned to make posters. Anyone who has seen you do art from kindergarten on knows that it was probably best that you just cut out early for lunch.
You have an AP English class that was pretty interesting and challenging. Perhaps you were always destined for that path but some days you blame Miss Scully for taking down the dark road of the humanities. Why didn't anyone tell me to get an MBA? Follow your dreams kid...they'll lead you to poverty.
You did some other stuff that year, watched your friends win sections in basketball and briefly regretted quitting. You decided on which college to attend after seeing people playing football on the beach in Santa Barbara and girls in bikinis roller blading down the street. I can do this!
Interpolation:
S: I'll be surprised if the wind doesn't blow our roof off.
M: Somebody grew up watching too much Wizard of OZ and not enough of the science channel. That's right, the science channel.
S: (pause) I'm pretty sure that's not a real thing.
30 weekend plans:
Friday night plans: Friday night involves making sure to get a first coat of paint down in the dining room.
Saturday plans: Getting the oil changed and then going to BB&B for new sheets.
17/18 weekend plans
Friday plans-Hang out w/ my friends and play Madden.
Saturday-Watch a movie. I don't know? breathe in and out at regular intervals.
Let's do a comparison between the two ages. See if you can guess which one is from when I was 17/18, and which one was from now 29/30? For answers please see your brain.
Yoga-What the heck are those weirdo's doing? Is that dude wearing stretch pants?
Yoga-I think it really helped my torn labrum, hurt knees, mid-back pain et al. What a great session!
A car: I got 38.2 in the city despite having stop and go traffic all morning. 38.2!
A car: I wonder if this thing shakes if you take it over eighty?
Dating-I wish I had a girl to go out on dates with.
Dating-No, we can't afford it. We've got to put money in the bank to afford that privacy fence. Why don't we just eat leftovers.
Video games-I'm going to beat Final Fantasy!
Video games-I have an overwhelming desire to play video games but can't find the time to play them. Is it wrong to fantasize about Dark Wizard?
House-Andrew, is this your junk on the floor?
House-Andrew, is this your junk on the floor?
Job-What's a job?
Job-What is this Spring Break that you speak of?
Financial situation-It's all going to work out in the end.
Financial situation-Are we putting away enough money for our unborn children? Are we? Tell me dammit!
Pets-Pets are cute and fun to have around.
Pets-Pets cost too much money!
Squirrels-Oh, that guy is kind of cute.
Squirrels-How much do I have to pay you to kill the little ones?
Television-A faithful friend.
Television-A faithful friend.
403B-IS that some type of multiple choice question?
403B-Am I contributing enough? How much do they match?
The yard-What a nice thing to look at.
The yard-Let's pave it.
Snow-What the hell is snow?
Snow-F-ing snow.
Flying in a plane-I've never done it.
Flying in a plane-I f-ing hate plans. Does anyone else assume we're going to die on every take off? Is this why I don't like roller coasters?
Deer-Cute things only seen rarely in the wild.
Deer-A nuisance.
Flying a kite-Who fly's a frickin kite?
Flying a kite-Even if we have kids, who fly's a frickin' kite?
Eating habits-I could eat fast food ever night of the week!
Eating habits-I love Kashi-Go Lean!
The park in your hometown-It's all right.
The park in your hometown-Look at these hiking trails! These groves of trees and tall grass remind me of Jane Austen. This would be a great spot for a picnic!
Farmers Markets-What are all these hippy people doing here?
Farmers Markets-I love to buy seasonally. Do you want some tea. I could really go for some tea right now. Oh, look at those strawberries.
Knees-Those things you jump off?
Knees-Those things that creak when you walk up stairs.
Movies-Before Sunrise.
Movies-Before Sunset.
Sometimes, you stand at the long cold rectangle of your bedroom window and watch the leaves of the silk tree close slowly as night falls. You know that the opening and closing is not involuntary, that you and tree share the same sleep cycle. You can see it closing up its many hands and lying down in the dark, like an old dog. When the tree is stranded in the rain it does the same thing, its leaves closing slowly, curling up by its own internal fire until the storm has passed.
Nice juxtapositions. I remember that tree.
ReplyDeleteJust for the record, "Video Games" answers are both possible for age 29/30. See: summer spent at condo for details.
ReplyDeletefor some reason your role in student government
ReplyDeletesounds very similar to our current government
in washinfton d.c.
they are accomplishing so little because they
a. take very long lunch breaks( a week)
b. they are making posters or tv appearances
c. they are playing video games
d. all of the above
e. what is a democracy??
squirrels rule, humans drool!!
When are you going to finally go back and watch Before Sunrise, and realize that it's just another cheesy, romantic, oh-I-wish, wouldn't-it-be-nice, film. You are WAY too into that film. let it go, man, let it go.
ReplyDeleteMost forms of entertainment are the antithesis of reality. However, I'd wager that if a person were to watch the majority of the romantic comedy films with an open mind mind you, that you'd note a distinct difference between the aforementioned movie and the others. That difference, my dear friend, is that the basis of their relationship begins in conversation. I've been married almost seven years now, and I can honestly say that a marriage, a relationship, whatever is based on your ability to navigate those oh so troubled waters. Ergo; to relegate a movie that bucks the trend of chance meetings, and I'm hearing the argument, it is a chance meeting, but it is a meeting imbued with meaning because of the conversation that takes place between the two of them. It's not the most realistic movie ever, but it's the closest thing you'll probably get to the way a relationship might actually begin with two people opening up to one another. You learn about compromise and silence and bills and all that as time goes by, but I'd be surprised if an intelligent person couldn't recognize the difference between a conversation between equals and a cheap cheesy romance.
ReplyDeleteI suppose it's supposed to be one of those when are you going to put away childish things scenarios. However, I'd wager that you, and everyone else in the world has some romantic ideals that they hold on to rather tightly, perhaps because they arrived at a crucial point in someone's development. If I turn myself into a cool and rational human being who sees through all the facades of romance, religion, whatever floats your boat, I've a feeling that I would have lost a great deal of what it means to be human.
ReplyDelete