The End of Men

Here is an interesting, if long, article on how women are taking over the world. The article is pretty long, so I won't expect anyone reading it to actually get through the whole thing, least of all the women. (See, if you read the article then you'll get that that's actually a joke as it goes to great lengths to point out the ways in which women are now more effective members of our knowledge economy than, get this, irrational men. My how the world has been turned on its head. Well, screw you Atlantic, I'm going to go invest my money in some commodities futures. What's that you say? This is how we got into this mess in the first place. Huh. Can I weld this problem back into good shape? No need for that. Huh. I guess I'll just be over here being marginalized. You'll all be sorry when the earth endures a new ice age and hunter gatherers are needed).

On Soccer

I've been watching soccer this
Soccer Officially Announces It Is Gay">. As it turns out I really enjoy soccer about once every four years, and I can get really excited about watching people expend a great deal of effort with no reward. I'd compare it to the early stages of a romantic comedy movie, when our lovable hero continually makes a fool of himself to try and win over the girl he loves only to discover in the end that she has dysentery. Sorry, I watch a lot of silent French film. Patently untrue. Or, it is like watching that guy in the bar who makes his way around to nearly every girl, sort of awkwardly standing over their shoulder, or worse, dancing up on them, only to end up completely alone. That's what watching soccer is like. For a while you feel pretty good, you have some laughs, cheer some, but in the end you find yourself thinking, "When the f are these guys going to score?"

My favorite part about watching soccer is hearing English announcers talk about the pitch. I think it's the mid-field. Who the hell knows? I just wish they'd call bad refs wankers. I'm sad that that isn't happening.

Other things I'm sad about:

The dissolution of the Soviet Union.

Hey guys that Rocky movie was good, but it wasn't that good.

My handwriting

When is it going to stop looking like an insane person who is also addicted to meth/when will everything just be electronic.

Duke and the Lakers

Two teams I couldn't like less won their respective championships. Why do you do this to me sports? And why do I always come back to you?

People speaking in thick Eastern European accents

I have a friend who does this very well. It's great fun. How come when we hang out we don't do this more. Related. Why don't we ever do large group male dances Fiddler on the Roof style? Why?

Freeways:

Can we all just agree that riding on a train is an imminently more pleasurable experience from an aesthetic point of view. Can we also agree that most people care one tiny iota about aesthetics. Lastly, can we all agree that iota is a strange word.

People who take themselves too seriously:

Relax people. You're just one in a few billion. And I don't mean that in a you're so special sort of way.

Winter:

When God was making up the seasons roughly five thousand years ago why do you think he came up with winter? Could this be pre-fail devil influence?

Colonialism:

Fighting wars throughout the whole world and extending your global domination used to be pretty hip and it generated all sorts of interesting literature up to and now including post-colonial literature. I think we can all agree that colonialism is a pretty great idea when carried out by megalomaniacs like King Leopold and a bunch of British guys, who are probably just going to try and get you to drink some tea and play cricket with them. Those days are gone now though. And nobody finds the American accent as charming. The linked article is excellent.

Patting yourself on the back:

Who does this? That's what other people are for.

House projects:

Hey, go ahead and get an education so that you can stimulate the economy by allowing someone else to do that job. Places like Home Depot are bastions that stand against the united front of the proletariat. We all got to get paid somehow.

The ocean:

Why does it need to be so big? We could use some of that space to build a freeway or throw away trash, or build really cheap tenements and rent them out on the cheap to people of ill repute. I'm just saying we have options.

Not going to bed:

Bad idea. Good night.