Fencing

The long awaited privacy fence is finally in the works. I had a wonderful hour and a half meeting with a representative from Potomac Fence company today discussing the relative merits of wood and vinyl, cedar and pressure treated, pickets, wyndgates and flat board fences. I never thought I would need to know so much about fencing, and now that I've crossed over to the other side I have to be honest, it's not that interesting. But if you have any questions about the performance of pressure treated wood as a post vs. the performance of cedar, or just how long a vinyl fence is supposed to last, feel free to ask. I'll anticipate at least fifty comments on this blog tomorrow from those highly concerned about fencing. This whole fence idea really got pushed to the forefront when we saw a picture of our backyard. When we've actually used our backyard we've felt that it was just fine, a nice little meeting spot, a table, some chairs, a grill. However, when you see it in a picture it becomes imminently clear that your neighbors have a visible rusty shed and that cutting the grass below eye level isn't that high of a priority. The only way our neighbor could rectify the situation at this point would be to start grazing horses in the backyard. Horses are pretty classy especially behind chain link fences, which really accentuate their flanks.

I'll probably just leave it at that though if you're interested in the pricing structure of a five foot versus a six foot fence, or the relative merits/cost of lattice work, I'm your man. Well, the real highlight of this whole interaction was getting a chance to just talk with the guy who was working out our estimate. At one point I mentioned that we were expecting our first child.

Guy: Oh. For real. Congratulations.

M: Thanks.

G: Oh man. You better get everything done while you can.

M: I've heard that.

G: Cuz once you have kids. Boy! You are not getting a thing done.

M: Yup.

G: I've got three and let me tell you, it ain't all about you anymore. You can forget expecting dinner to made when you get home. And your wife is suddenly going to forget that you do anything. My wife is British, you know, great lady, intelligent and all that. But man, she comes home now, and I can never do enough. She comes home and asks why I haven't cooked dinner. We both work full-time, and she might bathe the kids some day, and she'll ask me what I've done today, totally forgetting that I might have given them a bath two days ago. Just, man, whatever you do it isn't enough. I've got a set of twins, and it's pretty much, with three like being a single dad. There is never a moment when I don't have one kid or another occupying my attention. You might think you have time, but you never have time. Best thing that ever happened to me, but, (huge sigh). (Pause). I'm sorry. I didn't put a damper on that for you did I?

M: No. It sounds great.

It's not that I minded listening to my estimator's problems at home and in child rearing, I'm just pissed that I didn't get paid for it. The most awkward part was the five minutes he spent crying on my couch and later when he asked to rent the basement from me, but I was firm with him and asked him to leave despite his pleas. Anyhow, it was a great day for witnessing the future of our lives. After that, we went to a BBQ and watched harried parents pretend to pay attention to conversation while keeping two eyes on the kids in or around the pool, or walking towards the grill.

Person: "Nothing is easy anymore. No. That's not true. It's easy when they stay with the babysitter."

Then we talked with my sister.

J: "He's only feeding five times a day now."
M: "That's a lot isn't it."
J:"Oh no. When they are first born they eat about once every one and a half hours. You get to sleep in forty minute shifts."

Today was a pretty encouraging day. I can't wait to have kids. I wonder if parents knew what they were getting into if any of them would go ahead with it? You know, not in this retrospective position where they're all pleased and love their adult or toddling children because it seems like a hell of a lot work. Where is Gob when I need him? Oh well, here is a vaguely offensive Sesame Street video instead. Who is being mocked by Cookie Monster? The mentally deficient, foreigners? Now I realize that I never watched it because it was so offensive.

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