On Gambling

Listen, if pride myself on one thing that thing is customer service. Okay, actually I pride myself on gambling but that is a bit more suspect than customer service. As it turns out proclaiming yourself an excellent gambler doesn't elicit the sort of oooohs and ahhhs that you'd expect. I'd chalk it up to religious belief, but as we all know, the Bible is at least nominally in favor of gambling. Hi S. Oh, early martial arguments.

Proverbs 16:33 says, “The lot is cast in the lap, but its every decision is from the Lord.” So, look, everything is under God's divine providence, even the winner of the Kentucky Derby.

Remember when the apostles had to replace Judas in Acts? No. Well, they did. Side note: Not exactly big shoes to fill. "Okay, so we need you not to betray the Son of God. Anything above that and you're doing all right." Did the apostles send out a bunch of e-mails to their co-workers and write up a nice job description and form a search committee with representatives from every facet of society, then conduct a lengthy search and interview process? No, they picked out two quality candidates and did this:

26Then they cast lots, and the lot fell to Matthias; so he was added to the eleven apostles.

I think we can all agree that casting lots would save a lot of time and energy that is currently being wasted on search committees. And it would probably be more fun. And it that isn't enough for you, here is some more good Old Testament Justice:

Proverbs 13:11 says, “Dishonest money dwindles away, but he who gathers money little by little makes it grow.”

The takeaway: that's why I only gamble in small amounts. Not more than a buck a day. Hell, I gamble every time I get in the car that I'm not going to have an accident. I gamble when I wake up in the morning. I gamble when I bet a dollar on a World Cup game. It's all the same. I understand this to mean that gambling is okay as long as the increments are no larger than twenty dollars on a single bet. Note: If you're entirely against gambling, hi S, it's probably best to have stopped reading about two paragraphs ago. So, go ahead and expunge those.

And, in order to bring it back around I have good Old Hebrews to back me up: Hebrews 13:5 declares, “Keep your lives free from the love of money and be content with what you have, because God has said, ‘Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you."

Remember, I got an undergraduate degree in Literature.
Interview:

M: I just think that in the end, Anna was really weak, you know. I think she had other options. It really showed that her love for Vronsky was tantamount to the sort a kind of self-love that we're often all guilty of. However, Anna surrenders herself fully to it, and thus the train as well.

Interviewer: I'm not sure what that has to do with your ability to use manipulate Excel?

M: Everything dear sir. Everything.

Interviewer: I think we're done here.

M: Wait. I've got a theory about Jane Austen I've really been wanting to try out.

The job market, and thus money, did not flow towards me. However, I didn't take the lazy man's way out and get a job in something practical and high paying. Why? Because it's not good to make money. Am I right Hebrews? So I got an MFA in creative writing.

Boss: Listen. I need you to print me a report of all the consortium loan books that have been borrowed in the last year that have reached an overdue status of over six weeks.

M: I wrote a really neat poem on my desktop. I saved it right here.

Boss: Yeah, if you could just start on that report that would be great.

M: I'll read you a few lines if you'll stay.

Boss: I think I have a meeting (glances at non-existent watch).

Is gambling a vice? Only if you lose. Some might call that opinion a bit too teleological in its aim. Then again, they'd be using the word teleological, and we've no earthly clue what that means.

If gambling serves any real consequence it is a possible addictive behavior, and perhaps leading others astray. However, I'm not sure that I, as many other Christians have done, would differentiate it from any of the other golden calves we've erected. Remember, moderation in all things. Even moderation.