Ranking the top 11 Pixar movies with Cars 2 on the way

With the arrival of Cars 2, (apparently this movie is. eh, not so good. I'm just relieved that critics can watch a cartoon movie without getting all in a tizzy. Lord knows we've watched our fair share of cartoon movies in the last few years, and I can't argue with rotten tomatoes).

Note: This list was inspired by a blogger who had the audacity to rank Wal-E number one. I mean, the damn movie doesn't even have talking for an hour.

11. A Bug's Life

Why? I went to see this movie in the theater, and I don't remember much about it except that I may have accidentally gone to see ants instead. I mean this. I think we wandered into the wrong theater and watched the end of Ants, and were embarrassed that we'd done it, and so wandered back into the right theater and watched A Bug's Life, but we'd already missed the first twenty minutes. The point is, the movie may or may not have been ants. And yeah, I liked the cute circus performers as much as the next guy, but the movie was kind of ho hum. Remember that scene in BATB with the CGI dancing? This wasn't that.

10. Cars
Why? I like cars. Cars is a good movie because it's all about environmentalism, and I like the environment. It's also about...cars. That's the thing. It has some memorable characters, but the movie itself isn't memorable. Special apologies to my nephew Joseph who loves Lightning McQueen like the brother he doesn't have.

9. Toy Story 2
Why? Remember how Woody had to convince Buzz that he wasn't a toy in that first movie, and how exciting it was to see all the Toys coming to life like we'd all secretly hoped/believed in children? Well, we'd already seen it by the time this one rolled around, so it needed to be a little more special than it was. Another mad cap adventure by all those zany toys, but it sort of feels like just entertainment.

8. Ratatouille

Why? Because it's a rat cooking in the kitchen. I think the other bloggers I read really loved this movie because it was different. However, different is good, but I don't need to see a rat jumping around a pot of cheese because it's gross. And some things are just gross. Let's stop pretending like we're all so smart and smarmy and in on the joke with Ratatouille, and think it's wonderful that he was accepted. No. He was an effing rat in the kitchen. Not okay.

7. I don't remember much about Monster's Inc. because it came out like a million years ago, but it did have that cute little girl and the voice of John Goodman on a monster, which is perfect. Much like Toy Story, the idea that monsters live under the bed brought to life is enough to push this movie past some of its lesser brethren, even if it doesn't stand the test of time.

6. The Incredibles

Why? Because I'm not five, and this movie was actually pretty enjoyable. I'd rank it higher, but I"m not certain that five year olds would like/understand this movie. Other than that, it was an interesting take on the superhero genre, and, despite not entirely being for kids, it was good clean fun.

5. Wal-E-

Why? Because Short Circuit has already been made. No disassemble Stephanie! Johnny Five is alive! Yeah, that's right Pixar, the 1980's has already seen this movie and we loved it so much that we made a vastly inferior part 2. So, screw you. The love story was cute though wasn't it? And we go back to that environmental message in cars, though, I don't feel like it was overt enough.....sarcasm meter flaring. Anyhow, maybe if I didn't have to watch Wal-E cleaning for a solid hour before he even said Eva this movie would be rated higher.

4. Toy Story

Why? They brought the toys to life. And, we get an existential drama of Buzz learning to define himself within the cosmos and then within the boy's life. It's a hell of a take down from where he starts, and that etch a sketch sure is cute.

3. Finding Nemo

Why? Because every kid in American can now name a clown fish. And that dumb fish was cute, and that turtle who smoked pot. The familial story was kind of moving, even for a dude like me, and the camaraderie they developed in the fish tank was a superior version of those zany circus performers. Also, sea gulls do just say, mine, mine, mine, mine, over and over. But mainly it was the sweetness of the family story, which we've been telling over and over again in different ways since man first wrote on a cave wall or at the very least, since we got Oedipus.

2. Toy Story 3

Why? Because it's a damn good movie. Because it's a movie about things changing in life. Hell, we're actually down some toys at the start of this movie. Because this movie is sad, and it's about what can happen to an unloved toy. Don't mistreat the Velveteen Rabbit like that. It works as an action movie, and it works as an emotive one. I'm not sure it shouldn't be number one.

1. Up.

Why? Montage. Okay, I'm retroactively sliding this to number two because even though that scene with the dog was funny I saw it ten million times. But wait, that girl bird's name was inexplicably Kevin, and it never changed. Ah, what a cute movie. Number 2 it is.

1. Up
2. Toy Story 3
3. Finding Nemo