Blog

Over the past two days I've been informed by my brother and my dad that they don't read my blog. I'm guessing that this cuts my readership in half, hi mom and Jill!
9-Wake up in a panic about houses. Do sit ups to alleviate panic. Attempt to reach my legs to the floor in some sort of yoga crazy pose. Risk breaking my neck. Do not touch floor. It's nice to get the first failure of the day out of the way early.

10 A.M.-Argue with wife about the probability that we will go berry picking. Spend the morning searching through houses online, still waiting to find the perfect one.

11:10: Leave house. Am proved right when it's decided that we will not have enough time to go berry picking. Hassle wife until she admits that I was right. Sit in a satisfied manner in the car soaking in the victory. Mention that we will not be able to go berry picking later either as planned.

1:00 P.M. Join extended family for lunch/croquet. Lose at game of croquet to a woman over sixty. Try to reflect on the glory days when I was a wonderful croquet player, capable of hitting the ball through wickets from miles away. Reflect on the fact that wicket is kind of a fun word.

1-4-Eat lunch. Celebrate a birthday. Fail to go berry picking. Celebrate the small victories in life. Conduct a marching band in my head who plays something by Michael Jackson because he is popular again.

5 P.M. Play two more lackluster games of croquet. Claim that the equipment is made for midgets. Consider changing my name to something British to increase my skills. Play the DC crime map game with my mother-in-law.

6 P.M. Discuss the suburbs with MIL.
7-9 P.M. Head home to collect roach bodies from cabinets. Am mildly disappointed by their absence. I'm not a pet person, but the little guys were kind of growing on me.

10 P.M. Watch Mad Men (Good show).

11-1 A.M. Check D.C. crime maps and try to figure out where we are going to live. Decide to start committing crimes of my own to bring down median housing cost in current neighborhood. Get kind of sleepy. Desist in plan to do anything but sleep.