Notes from South of the Mason Dixon

Delaware is actually located north of the Mason Dixon line but for all intensive purposes it's the South. People speak with an accent and make jokes (that turn out to not be jokes) about working in chicken houses, and drive trucks with gun racks on them, and all in all are just the sort of God-fearing people who are just like you and me. Only different, because I'm from the city and the city=evil as proved by Old Testament cities like Babylon, Jericho, Sodom and Gomorrha (sp) and Los Angeles, which even then was noted for its bad traffic.

On the drive to my wife's ten year reunion. Things that struck me as odd. Driving along a small two lane road, past rows of corn, local food signs abutted by rising developments. The sort of cookie cutter houses that make you wonder if we'll ever stop building new houses and propagating 1950's carthrocentric values. Can we get some more of that economic stimulus package dedicated to infrastructure please or are we going to waste all of our money on a president from Kenya!! Note: Only a joke please YouTube the crazy woman from DE.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9V1nmn2zRMc
(Image of Andrew leading a crowd in Georgetown, DE in the pledge of allegiance and yelling "he was born in Kenya and he probably don't even know it" neither of which have anything to do with health care. Please note the cheers in the background of good old America. This is our country people.)

Passed by Fish Killers crab shack. The small white cart parked along the side of the road in a patch of dirt at a gas station. It sort of makes you wonder how much fish killing the crabs are doing while they are waiting in the crab shack's hull to be dredged up and eaten fresh. Are they feeding the crabs fish while they wait? Are the crabs wearing bibs? They should be.
Crabs eat primarily dead stuff anyway. I guess crabs are technically fish-killers, but I'm sort of upset that the sign wasn't: If no algae or other dead invertebrate isn't more readily available and if the fish are sort of unaware or unassuming Fish Killers crab shack. I think it has a nicer ring to it.

Full Service Florist-What is the difference between that and a half-service florist? I don't think I've ever seen a sign that says half-service florist. Are there florists out there who won't properly fill your flower order, who short change you on greenery and perhaps a rose or two? Should I open a half-service florist place? Are any florists that aren't advertised as full-service in fact only half-service? Is this a case of useless name-branding to create an artificial difference between florists? Are they upset about this?

Speed checked by radar-Is this sign mandated by law? This falls in the middle category for gradations of speed checking.

My favorite is speed checked by aircraft. I'm thinking, if I'm stupid enough to not avoid being caught by an airplane than I must be a grade A jackass. I mean, to make an arrest they're going to have to land the plane on a pretty small stretch of freeway, and if I don't notice the pterodactyl sized object coming in for a landing and take evasive action then I deserve to be caught like that little dear who gets run down by the wolf in planet earth. Don't separate from the herd. There's no way they'll land the plane on a freeway full of cars right? Am I right? (Note: I realize they call highway patrol instead).

A gradation somewhere between speed checked by radar and aircraft.
Speed checked by guessing small-town police officer:
Cop: Do you know how fast you were going sir?
M: No.
Cop: Me neither, because I don't have the equipment to check, but it seemed like you were going pretty fast.
M: Oh, so.
Cop: Can you make like an estimate for me because I've really got no idea
M: thirty-two
Cop: Lets call it thirty five.
M: Is that fair?
Cop: Points to sign.