Presenting Offers/Resale Value

Two important terms that I've learned in purchasing a house are presenting offers and resale value. I sort of already knew resale value, but for the purposes of this blog post lets all pretend like I didn't.

I've learned that when we put a bid in on a house that it is not called a bid. It is called an offer, and it is presented to the seller. Every time our real estate agent says that she will be presenting the seller with our offer I'm picturing the guy (and yes it's always a guy, typically sexist) sitting back on a divan and being fed grapes whilst scantily clad real estate agents present papers for them to sign. I sort of have a Nero kind of figure in my mind. Which makes me want to buy a house really soon so that I can later have offers presented to me.
M: Is that ink gold?
Agent: I don't know. (Note: said with fear in voice).
M: Did you just present me with an offer that doesn't have f---ing gold ink?
Agent: I'm sorry. (Note: looks at the floor).
M: Look at my face. Is it a happy face? (The face presented at this point in time should not in any way shape or form be happy...maybe form).
Agent: N..N...NO. (lip should be quivering).
M: Well good because I thought you just presented me an offer without gold ink. Did I purchase a lion and have it brought across the ocean for my personal enjoyment?
Agent: I'm not sure what the right answer is.
M: No. I purchased it to tear agents apart when they don't present offers properly. (At this point in time the actor should gesture from his divan and a group of burly men should physically eject the agent from the house).
Scene.

The other important term that I've come to learn is resale value. Resale value is the single most important thing to consider when purchasing a home. Don't imagine what it might be like to live there. Imagine what it might be like for someone else to live there. This is the single best advice that I've received. In fact, I'm so jazzed about resale value that I'm thinking of purchasing a house and then, without making any changes, putting it back on the market. It's genius. As long as you buy a house with resale value you will never have to worry about selling it. So, why not start right away? Strike while the iron is hot? (Are we still in the iron business or should that phrase be changed? Strike whilst the keyboard is untainted? The whilst probably didn't help update the phrase. Strike before your computer's battery runs out of life cutting you off halfway through an intensely personal/unrewritable (now a word) essay/e-mail to the love of your life. I guess that saying is a bit long.

The gist of this housing thing is that it's always important to consider that resale value. I'm planning on not even moving our stuff in because I'm afraid that our stuff will make whatever house we buy look cluttered, and thus uninteresting to other folks who might want to buy it. I plan on squatting in the pull-down attic so we don't defile the place. Remember, the right house is not the place where you see yourself living. It's the place where you can see someone else living.