Conversations between things

M: (Floss breaks in my mouth for the millionth time, lodging itself between my teeth. Note: Do not ever buy cheap floss.)
M: I hate this shit!
S: Why?
M: It always breaks off between my teeth and the shit gets lodged there, thereby causing the very problem its supposed to be alleviating.
S: Yeah, well, you've got to consider that your real problem might be that shit keeps getting lodged between your teeth.
M and S: (Laughter ensues).

M: (Driving in the car to somewhere after being asked to do several chores) You aren't actually looking for a husband. What you're looking for is some sort of automaton who will do your bidding, a giant tool that you can manipulate.
S: No. If I wanted to marry a giant tool I would have just married myself.
M and S: (Laughter ensues).

Tracy,
Have you ever been sitting in a movie theater and been able to overhear what other people are saying? And you're not so much bothered by the fact that they are talking because you've talked, though obviously more quietly, during a movie or two in your own day. At least I have. But no. What really bothered me? And this just happened today, which is why I'm telling you this. I realize that it's more typical for girls to tell stories than boys. But sometimes I think we all enjoy stories. Hopefully, you do!

And what really bothered me was how incredibly dull these people's comments were. Like, when the stupid lady would say something stupid, the woman would lean over and practically yell to her husband or boyfriend, they were older, so I'm going to go with husband, "she's not very smart," as though he might not have picked up on the subtle nuance of the movie. Or when the parents acted as though they didn't trust the guy who didn't deserve to be trusted she said, "They don't trust him."

And I'm wondering if perhaps the guy with her is blind or really dumb or something. But I really didn't think that obviously. What I really thought was how stupid this woman was, and how her husband was probably even more annoyed than I was, and possibly looking for a plank to stick in his eye or something.

Do you ever judge people like this? Like people you don't even know? Like you've cornered the market on being smart or in the know? Well, I have. Pretty often. And periodically during the movie I heard the man mumbling something back. And he wasn't telling her to shut up or anything, at least as far as I could tell. So by the end of the movie I had to consider that maybe he enjoyed being told things like, "He's a bit sleazy" when the character stole from an old woman. Maybe he just liked the sound of her voice or something.

It's hard sometimes to be alive in the world without losing faith in it. I think I might have meant to say impossible. The other day I was watching this movie and Katherine Hepburn said, "The time to make up your mind about people is never!" It wasn't really Katherine Hepburn who said it because she was playing some other woman, and I didn't even really see that in a movie, I read it in a book. And now already I'm lying to you. But maybe you'll like it, like that man in the movie theater who liked hearing his wife tell him that the sky was generally a blue color. I don't really know. I guess what I'm saying is that I'm kind of marooned here on this island of the self, and I was wondering if you ever feel that way too?