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Conversations:

On Hands being cold:

M: (Screams like a girl/someone being robbed).
S: What?
M: Get your damn hands off me.
S: But you're so warm.
M: Do you see me putting my hands on someone else's stomach when they're cold?
S: That would probably make the first five minutes of work a little awkward.

Overheard in the gym.

Guy: She's pretty smart too.
Guy 2: Yeah, I know. She's one of the smartest people in our class.
M: (Shaking my head derisively and wondering if this is the sort of sissy men that colleges are churning out these days.

Later conversation overheard:
Other Guy: She's just not my type.
Other Other guy: Really? She's hot.
Other guy: No. She's too skinny for me. Have you seen her legs?
Other Other guy: She's still pretty hot.
M: (Shaking my head in approval. All is right with the world).


Overheard in the locker room:

Five year old boy sings: America, America....America.

Dad: You really like singing lately. (Clearly meant to defray any annoyance I might have been feeling).

FYOBS: God made the whole world.

Dad: That's a matter of opinion.

FYOBnow talking: Yeah, a lot of people don't know that God made the world.

Dad: Not everybody believes that God made the world.

FYOB: Yeah, but I know that God made the world.

Dad: I'm glad for you.

M: (Echoing head nod).


Brother: I keep up with your blog.
M: Nice
Brother: Except the real long artsy ones. Those I kind of just skim.
Later
S: Did a little part of you die inside?

We're trying to decide what color to paint our dining room. Right now I'm leaning towards our original idea of gold because gold is worth even more money now, and it would probably be wise to paint our whole dining room gold. Then, we could knock out all the pieces and sell them to make heaps of money. Then, with that money we could build a golden yacht and sail off into the sunset. Does gold sink?

S is starting to leans toward brown because it's a safe color. But sometimes you've got to take risks. And sure I would never sky dive, go on a roller coaster, drive over eighty give miles an hour in a car, not think I'm going to die every time a plane takes off, tear off a hang nail that might hurt a bit, jump off a high rock into water, jump off the high dive, drive a race car, climb on a roof, climb a tree, but deep down, I'm a man who likes to take risks. So I say, no dammmit. We will not paint our walls some brown color to play it safe. We'll paint our walls gold! And if that doesn't work, we can actually just paint them again. So, really we're not taking much of a risk.

I'd like to think of myself as a modern day Vasco de Gama, braving the forests of Home Depot to compare different color swatches to try and determine which one will keep the room bright while making the window sills "pop." My advice, use this word frequently when referring to items you've painted. Use this slogan, Popping, it's not just for East Coast collars anymore.

Oh, I'm also trying to think of some crazy idea for the next year. I'm considering challenging myself to read the 100 best novels ever (as determined by Time or Newsweek or the Guardian) in a single year, while maintaining positive relations with the outside world. I've also considered cooking every recipe from Juila Childs cook book, but it's already been taken. And, I hate cooking. And kitchens. And hot things. And people. If you have any crazy ideas please send them my way, so that I can politely acknowledge them, pretend like I'm considering them, and then go on and do whatever the hell I want anyway. Note: This is what most of life is like. Have you ever had a friend ask for love advice? You know what people do when you give them advice? The punch line that seems obvious is the opposite, but it's not true. They just keep doing whatever they were going to do in the first place. You know what they say all's fair in hookers and hand grenades. At least, that's what my family always said. Kidding mom.